Friday Five: Current Favourite Words

Once as an undergaduate when I was writing an essay about eighteenth-century drama, a friend challenged me to get in the words paradiddle, iconoclastic and whirligig - which I managed. I actually got an A for the essay so either the lecturer wasn't reading it very closely, or he appreciated the linguistic contortions necessary to fit in seemingly irrelevant words.

Ever since then, I have loved the appearance of slightly out-of-the-ordinary words popping up in unusual places, whether it be football commentary or furniture assemblage leaflets. Perhaps it is not so, but I always imagine that the author/ speaker has had a bet with someone that they will somehow insert this word into their particular piece of prose. My favourites change often, but here are the current crop.

5 Words to Slip into Sentences:

1. Scatological - often applied to humour
2. Discombobulated - a state I find myself in a lot
3. Anthropomorphise - mum used it just the other day and it reminded me what a great word it is to use (and say!)
4. Kerfuffle - a close cousin of the equally appealing shemozzle
5. Peripatetic - indeed, I used it to descibe myself very recently

There's a whole load of other words like that I like because of their plosive qualities (pepperpot; bumpkin; bombastic), onomatopeic merits (effervescent; gargle; clatter) or because of their associations (champagne; sleep; laughter), but these are the words I favour presently. What are yours?

My Week With Marilyn: Wiggle It

In this entertaining and engaging film, Colin Clark, an employee of Sir Laurence Olivier’s, documents the tense interaction between Olivier and Marilyn Monroe during production of The Prince and the Showgirl. It really does concern the events of one week (although they seem to be typical and exemplary of a much greater timespan), allowing director Simon Curtis to maintain a tight focus and avoid the rambling pitfalls of many a biopic.

Eddie Redmayne is charming and fresh as the besotted Colin Clark

Of course, Marilyn is the star of the show and Michelle Williams outstandingly captures her allure and vulnerability. She is crippled with insecurity about her true identity and her acting talent, surrounding herself with an entourage of admirers and sycophants, including Milton Green (Dominic Cooper in truly unctuous form) who supplies her with pills for everything, and drugs her up to manage her, and the chauffeur and chaperone, Barry (Jim Carter), who attempts to exert some measure of concerned control.

She particularly shines among the ‘common people’ – at Eton or the local pub, where she tells the landlord, “Nice place you’ve got here”. It is enough to warm his soul and he would dine out on such a chance remark for years. She knows it, but she can afford to be generous with her winsome smile.

"Shall I be Her?"

“Shall I be her?” Marilyn asks on a trip to Windsor Castle, where she is shown around by Sir Owen Morshead, Colin’s relation, acted with sensitive understanding by Derek Jacobi. She is struck by the fabulous dolls’ house and opens it up to look inside, murmuring, “Every girl should be told how pretty she is and how much her mother loves her.”

Marilyn grew up in other people’s homes with her own mother in an asylum. She doesn’t know who her father is and seeks approval from the establishment who are smitten with her sex appeal although they don’t much care for her personality. Her current husband, Arthur Miller (played with assured nonchalance by Dougray Scott) complains, “I can’t work; I can’t think; she’s devouring me” and he leaves her to return to America, which threatens to tip her into suicidal despair. Green explains, “You don’t leave Marilyn alone. She thinks everyone’s abandoned her”, and she questions through a drug-induced haze, “Why do the people I love always leave me?”

Dougray Scott as Arthur Miller and Michelle Williams as Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn worries that no one cares for who she really is; they are simply besotted by her persona. “All the people want is Marilyn Monroe and then they realise I’m not her.” Yet she plays to the myth, pouting and winking and talking in her ridiculous baby doll voice. Although she claims, “I’m not a goddess. I just want to be a regular girl,” she is keen to seduce Colin (Eddie Redmayne), taking her clothes off before him to swim in the Thames, and giggling under a blanket with him to try and escape her bodyguards.


"Did she break your heart? Just a little bit? Good, it needed breaking." - Emma Watson as Lucy considers her 'rival'

Everyone warns Colin that Marilyn is a heartbreaker and not to get involved – even the dowdy-by-comparison wardrobe mistress, Lucy (Emma Watson), who might have been his girlfriend before she was so dazzlingly eclipsed. Colin seems carefree and charming as he wins the affections and confidences of the delectable and delicate Marilyn, but the film is based on his diaries, so he would be made out to be a bit of a hero.

Kenneth does Larry

Sir Laurence Olivier (Kenneth Brannagh) fares less well. Anxious despite his gravitas, he can be hectoring and bullying to hide his own lack of self-confidence. Brannagh acts this perfectly, He seems intolerant to Marilyn fears, ranting, “We’re all scared. I’ve spent half of my life in abject terror. It’s what we actors do.” He tells Marilyn to “Rely on your natural talents”, suggesting she work her sex appeal and not trouble with acting.

Marilyn persists with acting coaching from the brilliantly bristling Paula Strasberg (Zoë Wanamaker) although Olivier fumes, “Trying to teach Marilyn to act is like trying to teach Urdu to a badger.” Larry doesn’t like method acting; it’s new and it frightens him. Marilyn is the future, which makes him feel threatened. When he removes his make-up before the mirror, he reveals the man beneath the actor, admitting that he wanted to feel young again by working with her, but “when I look at that magnificent face, all I see is my own inadequacy.”

Vivian Leigh (Julia Ormonde), Olivier’s wife and remarkable actress in her own right, is 40, which is too old to play on screen what she can on stage. She sweeps into rehearsals to dispense benedictions but also to check on her competition. Marilyn is 30. Hollywood demands young women, although hypocritically dominated by older men.

There is much warmth and generosity of spirit (and acting) in the film, but none more so than from the simply spectacular Dame Judi Dench. Who could possibly want a greater mentor than her or her character, Dame Sybil Thorndike? She makes excuses for the forgetful and stumbling Marilyn, always has a gentle word to ease her into the situation, and commiserates with Colin's infatuation pains. She also becomes embroiled in a stand-off between union members (over whose job it is to move a chair), which she calms by reminding us, “If the unions fall out, only the management benefits”. She is clearly on the side of us; the workers.

The ever-fabulous Dame Judi Dench as Dame Sybil Thorndike

My Week with Marilyn is a glorious film about a stunning woman, but it is also a film about films and acting, with many superb actors. The screen was eclipsing the stage and there is tension between the classical and more natural delivery, with a smattering of Shakespeare quotes throughout. A new generation of celluloid luminaries were emerging and the previous stars were losing their lustre. Acting is ephemeral and Olivier calmly accepts that “We are such stuff as dreams are made on.” And what wonderful dreams they are...

Friday Five: Reunited Possessions

Our stuff has arrived from New Zealand - hurrah! On the day it was delivered we were experiencing a weather bomb of pouring rain and gusting winds, so everything was soggy and the removal guys tramped mud all over the place. Fortunately the downstairs has a washable floor - they left everything there to prevent ruining the carpets - but it does mean that I've got to carry many boxes upstairs myself.

When you have movers and packers take your belongings from one country to another, you never know what's going to end up where. I have got the top of my computer desk, but the legs have been packed separately so I've got no idea where they are. I have found the stapler and a broken paperclip, wrapped individually with great care and attention, so that's good then.

Kiwi humour

Even the grammatically amusing descriptions on the inventory ('bear bottles' and 'wetsuites' had me a trifle bemused) don't necessarily help. The box labelled 'reckords' held the document shredder (or half of it anyway) so perhaps the packers have the same appreciation for The Fall as I. Clearly, they have some sense of humour, indulging a litttle trans-Tasman rivalry in pictorial fashion on one of the heavier items.

So now I am surrounded by boxes wherever I go in the house - it's like one of those interminable puzzles where you have only one vacant square that you have to slide everything in and out of until you make up the picture. I never liked them, incidentally.

But Chester loves it. He is 'helping' by jumping into every empty or half-empty box (in this instance, the box being half-empty is a positive), chastising the wrapping paper and bubble wrap into hard-to-reach corners, entwining himself around my legs when I'm carrying particularly heavy or bulky items (especially when there are stairs to negotiate), playing King-of-the-Castle with wobbling stacks of cartons, and falling asleep in new places. He's having fun with this, anyway.

And it's good to have familiar possessions around me. It may be scientific due to objects in a vacuum or something (Dad would no doubt explain, if I let him), but the house just feels warmer. And cheerier. And, when I've solved the space puzzle, it will be a lot more convenient too.

5 Items I'm Very Pleased to See Again:

1. The 3-piece-suite - it's so much more comfortable to watch the tele from a leather sofa than a hard-backed kitchen chair. Chester is happy to have 'his' $2,000 armchair back too.
2. Our sleigh bed - it's such a great feeling to sleep in your own bed, isn't it? Of course, I have yet to find the box containing the duvet or the sheets (they weren't in the same box as the pillows, which were each in different boxes anyway), but I'm sure I will soon...
3. Books and bookcases - Not only do they look fabulous, they hold memories and theories and unexplored delights. I can spend hours arranging and re-arranging my books on the shelves. Seriously.
4. Cooking equipment - I now have the array of knives, graters, scales, dishes, bowls and baking trays necessary to make proper meals; there's only so much you can do with one saucepan.
5. Washing machine - taking a whole day to catch to the bus to a suburb with a laundrette, spending an hour waiting for the clothes to wash and then returning to unload the industrial machines and reload the dryers (which remind me of those ones in horrible scenes in prison films where there's always a dead body stuffed inside) and then lugging everything home again hasn't exactly been my idea of fun.

Quote for today

“I’m a very good prophet. When it comes to predicting the past, I always get it right.” - Manuel Rivas, Books Burn Badly

The Crystal Ball by John William Waterhouse (1902)

Friday Five: Aussie Vision Song Contest

 
The Eurovision Song Contest is phenomenally popular in Australia. I know, really! This may be surprising for a festival of kitsch in which tiny fragmented Eastern European nations try to wrest some significance from the Western heavyweights, hosted by truly appalling presenters who give mannequins a bad name. For the channel that televises both of the semi finals and the grand final (SBS) it is their biggest event, attracting 420,000 viewers. Many of these people host parties, at which they generally play the Eurovision Drinking Game – there you go; that’s the appeal.

There are drinks to be drunk for such things as people wearing all-white ensembles, removing items of clothing, playing an accordion or an instrument that you can’t identify, wearing a cape, dramatic key change, and singing in a language that you assumed to be foreign but that turns out to be English. So, here we go then (in alphabetical order)...



Shout to the top - or actually fifth

Albania – Suus (Finalist)
The scary Medusa-haired woman yells at the audience, until they are petrified into letting her through to the next round.

Austria – Woki Mit Deim Popo
The band is called Trackshittaz; they live up to their name. Their brand of tacky hip/hop with lecherous sexism and lime green scantily clad pole dancers to distract from the awfulness of the song, is apparently known as tractor party gangster rap – one to avoid on this evidence.

Azerbaijan – When the Music Dies (Automatic Finalist)
We’ll know who to blame, Sabin Babayeva. Looking like a swan in a white feather dress she sings, ‘You’re cold, cold, cold’ and just a little flat. It’s probably very rude to insult the host, so let’s stop there, shall we?



Loving the microphone technique

Belarus – We Are the Heroes
Are you indeed, Litesound? True, you do win the award for the best Dr Seuss-inspired microphone stands. And I can imagine this being played at second-rate fairgrounds all over the land. They sport statement haircuts (Gorillaz in the shitz?), bend over backwards with their choreography, and take chain metal tank top fashion to a whole new level. I actually quite like it; it seems I am in the minority.

Belgium – Would You
No, I wouldn’t. A young girl with the unlikely name of Iris sings a song about any guy will do, while dressed like a lampshade.

Bosnia Herzegovina – Korake Ti Znam (Finalist)
A woman (Maya Sar) stands in a single spotlight at a piano. She manages to look very intense and meaningful in a glittery shoulder pad-heavy outfit while being blasted by a wind machine, which is no mean feat and the only reason I can assume she gets through to the final as the song itself is a pile of poo.

Incidentally, SBS has an insightful interview with Melanie from Germany, who operates the wind machine and has done so for the past seven years. She’s a dab hand now; they have ways of making you talk alright, although not always sing...

Bulgaria – Love Unlimited
Sofi Marinova appears to be a Grace Jones look-i-like-i who can sing as well. She may have worn a leather sofa and boots to match, but I can imagine clubbing to this – maybe without the pyrotechnic Catherine Wheels. Lots of native language with the final tag ‘I love you so much’ thrown in to win over the audience – it works for me, but I’m a sucker.

Croatia – Nebo
I quite like this effort from Nina Badrić during which her backing vocalists/dancers appear to be struggling to fold a sheet – bless them. She’s a bit like the Woman in Black – by the time you’ve seen her, it’s too late!

Cyprus – La La Love (Finalist)
Ivi Adamou mimics Beyoncé doing techno. Sample lyric: ‘Feel the energy/ Between you and me’ suits the Two Unlimited or Venga Boys ethos.


La la la Lift!

Denmark – Should Have Known Better (Finalist) She should certainly have known better than to wear that outfit, consisting of a dodgy military tunic and cap. Sample lyric: ‘Should have known better, now I miss you like Sahara misses rain’. There is clearly a talent-drought in Denmark.

Estonia – Kuula (Finalist)
Some bloke who wants to be Eastern Europe’s answer to Ronan Keating (Ott Lepland) stands in a spotlight and belts out a ballad with many a key change and emotional holler. It’s a refreshing change from all the gaudy glitz and jerking about. I haven’t a clue what he’s singing but he sounds pretty good.

Finland – När Jag Blundar
The home of air guitar brings us a very dull song in which a woman dressed in a flowing green curtain sings something while a bloke plays a cello in a desultory fashion.



Vive La France!

France – Echo (You and I) (Automatic Finalist)
Anggun, Queen of the Dancefloor, gives the impression that she doesn’t really give a toss, but then she is French, so who can tell? She is buffeted by the wind machine as she flings out the odd word in English and male acrobats cavort around her – no one’s listening to the song anyway.

Georgia – I’m a Joker
You can say that again – actually, please don’t; once is enough. There is a lot of effort made with Gregorian monks in red habits, Russian folk music backing, a circus performer swinging around by her hair and some random tune thumped out on a white baby grand piano. Singer Anri Jokhadze seems to have lost a glove and the overall effect is extremely messy – á la Rocky Horrible.

Germany – Standing Still (Automatic Finalist)
The casual, cute, young, beanie-clad Marti Pellow imitator may be proof to the cynics that only three of the competing nations – Azerbaijan, Russia and Sweden – actively want to win the competition and have to host the incredibly expensive 2013 final during a Eurozone depression.

Greece – Aphrodisiac (Finalist)
A gorgeous lead singer (somewhat improbably called Eleftheria Eleftheriou) with great legs shows them off to advantage with some Greek dancing (probably to differentiate it from the very similar Cypriot entry). She’s a cross between a diminutive mermaid and Botticelli’s Venus rising from the clam shell. Sample lyric: ‘You make me dance, dance like a maniac/ You make me want your aphrodisiac.’


Greece goes manic

Hungary – Sound of Our Hearts (Finalist) In this electronic ballad with a message about following your dreams, the Sherriff of Nottingham meets Depeche Mode. It’s all angst and The Matrix apart from the smiley bloke at the back, who ruins the staunch image somewhat.

Iceland – Never Forget (Finalist)
A surprisingly decent duet, probably better-suited to musical theatre – maybe Chess?



Jedward hold fast against the wind machine

Ireland – Waterline (Finalist)
 Jedward dressed as knights in shining armour, give it cartwheels and out-of-synch robotic dancing. Hyperactive and erratic like a faulty wind-up toy, they finish up with a cold shower, which is probably just as well.

Israel – Time
Israel, Nooooo! This is like a cross between something out of The Fast Show and Borat complete with dodgy permed hair and a drunken woman who looks like Amy Winehouse’s mum.

Italy – Lamore E Femmina (Automatic Finalist)
Clearly a professional performance from Italy’s answer to Gwen Stefani; even walking in those heels is impressive.

Latvia – Beautiful Song
Despite the songstress Anmare and her dodgy back-up not-quite-sober bridesmaids’ claim that this is a beautiful song, the audience and judges seem to disagree.

Lithuania – Love is Blind (Finalist)
But unfortunately not deaf. Donny Montell begins his routine wearing a sparkly blindfold which he whips off halfway through – DRINK!!! – while cramming every possible cliché into his song.

Lithuania play pin the tail on the donkey

F.Y.R. Macedonia – Crno I Belo (Finalist)

A power ballad with a hint of Forever Young from a woman called Kaliopi in a black trouser suit with some screaming, some quiet moments, and a violin and guitar break. FYI, I learned that F.Y.R. stands for Former Yugoslav Republic – who says it’s not instructional?

Malta – This is the Night (Finalist)

Despite the rubbish female drummer (even I could mime hitting something in time better than that) I like this uptempo dance number. Lyrics such as, ‘This is the night I’ve been waiting for. This is the night I’ll be back for more, singing hey, eh, eh, eh, ye eh hey, eh, eh’ are offset with a little bit of acrobatics and some shonky dance moves.

Moldova – Lautar (Finalist)
The theatrical dancing and outfits remind me of Outkast or Panic at the Disco with a lead singer looking like Ed Norton. The fact that he wants to win a girl with his trumpet is not a euphemism apparently. It’s like a fun circus act or puppet show and I like it – it’s my third favourite.


Bring it on, Moldova!

Montenegro – Euro Neuro
The audience is highly perplexed by this offering from Rambo Amadeus, in which he looks like no one’s favourite drunken uncle.


A cry for help from The Netherlands

Netherlands – You and Me
Joan Franka sounds a wee bit like Dolores O’Riordan from The Cranberries but she looks nothing like her. In fact, against a background of camp fires and wearing an American Indian headdress she looks more like she is auditioning as the new lead singer for Dexys Midnight Runners.

Norway – Stay (Finalist)
After an acrobatic start, lead singer Tooji brings the sexy back in a techno romp with distracting dancing that looks as though a bloke has joined the Spice Girls. This song comes last in the competition, although I really didn’t think it was as bad as all that.


Tooji brings the sexy back for Norway

Portugal – Vida Manha
Filipa Sousa wears an ill-fitting gold lame sheath but despite this and the multiple key changes, it is still a very dull effort. Down with the Euro, you’re going down with the Euro, etc.

Romania – Zaleilah (Finalist)
May win an award for comedy instruments, including a very odd-looking set of bagpipes. The lead singer sits sideways on a drum and smiles when it’s hit – she sure gets her good vibrations. The men all wear white (Drink), she sort of wears a scrap of flimsy red material, and they all do a spot of pogo-dancing, which seems to be perennially popular. Sample lyric: ‘Everybody, everybody’.

Russia – Party for Everybody (Finalist)
Buranovskiye Babushki comprise six old women (there are actually eight of them – but the rules state that only six are allowed on stage), one of whom is 77. They will definitely win the cute factor and back it up with the curious prop of a rotating oven – it appears to be on fire at one point but provides a tray of baked mini pies as audience bribes. I bet this is number one in Britain with a rave party beat over the sample lyric, ‘Everybody dance/ Come on and dance’. It’s my second favourite.


Dance, grandma, dance!

San Marino – The Social Network Song (Oh Oh – Uh – Oh Oh)

Valentina Monetta is working the whole Abba/ Madonna look in her song about on-line dating. Sample lyric: “Do you want to make love with me? Am I really your cup of tea?” Perhaps she should have sung in her own language as she is unlikely to get through to the final with an overtly sexual song – and she doesn’t.

Serbia – Nije Ljubav Stvar (Finalist)

The wistful nationalistic number features a soulful male singer with tortured eyes (and vocals) supported by violins, drums and a wooden instrument no one can name, which means drinking points if nothing else.

Slovakia – Don’t Close Your Eyes

The band claim to be influenced by Whitesnake and the music is quite speed metal, although the vocals are more soft rock. Singer Max Jason Mai sports a bare torso and black leather but he has lovely clean hair. The audience are perplexed.

Slovenia – Verjamem
Dressing as virginal nuns in see-through dresses isn’t enough to help this all female Phantom of the Opera number go through to the finals.

Spain – Qudate Conmigo (Automatic Finalist)
The Statue of Liberty rang; she wants her dress back. And Evita wouldn’t mind her song when you’ve finished with it, either.

Sweden – Euphoria (Finalist)
The pre-competition favourite has a slightly Goth element, although singer Loreen sounds more like a cross between Julianne Regan (All About Eve) and Amy Lee (Evanescence). I’m not impressed by the barefoot moon-walking or the Kate-Bush-escapes-from-a-lunatic-asylum schtick. The snow globe effect (that’s really overworking the wind machine!) and the failed attempt at yodelling don’t do it for me either, although the gratuitous male dancer perks things up a bit. What do I know; this is the clear winner on the night according to the countries’ democratic voting process.


Loreen is given an airing

Switzerland – Unbreakable They sing a song about following your wildest dreams and claim to have been influenced by U2, although they are not nearly so dull or pretentious.

Turkey – Love Me Back (Finalist)
Good intro, followed by a song which actually delivers on the initial promise. Can Bonomo are a likely bunch of excessively-eyelinered jaunty nautical types with a heap of sailor motifs and whirling cape action to augment their sea shanty. The Turkish Sid Snot lead sings such sample lyrics as, ‘Don’t you ever sink my ship and sail away’ in a Fiddler on the Roof style. Okay then, it floats my boat and is, in fact, my favourite song of the contest.

Ahoy there, me Turkish hearties!

UK – Love Will Set You Free (Automatic Finalist)
It’s different. By about thirty years. A surprisingly sharp texter points out that he is older than 22 of the countries represented at the competition. One question: Englebert Humperdink; why? This ballroom dancing dirge finishes second last (thank God for nul-point Norway). Actually, here’s another question: did anyone think it would be otherwise?

Ukraine – Be My Guest (Finalist)
Gaitana pulls out all the stops in this derivative dance anthem about welcoming visitors to her country: moving panels and visual effects, a rented flashmob, a shower curtain and cap outfit, lashings of trumpet, tempo changes and chest beating all aim for Mardi Gras entertainment value. It’s still crap.



I couldn't walk a minute in Nina's shoes!

 Five Favourite Eurovision Songs:

1. Turkey - Love Me Back, Can Bonomo
2. Russia - Party for Everybody, Buranovskiye Babushki
3. Moldova - Lautar, Pasha Parfeny
4. Italy - L'Amore È Femmina (Out Of Love), Nina Zilli
5. Malta - This is the Night, Kurt Calleja

And, for what it's worth, the winners were:

1. Sweden - Euphoria, Loreen
2. Russia - Party for Everybody, Buranovskiye Babushki
3. Serbia - Nije Ljubav Stvar, Željko Joksimović
4. Azerbaijan - When the Music Dies, Sabina Babayeva
5. Albania - Suus, Rona Nishliu

My Newest Favourite Thing: Fabergé Eggs

I love the little Google designs, don't you? They point out all sorts of fascinatingly irrelevant information. For example, I would never have known that today was the 166th birthday (do you still get birthdays when you're dead?) of Peter Carl Fabergé.

Those eggs used to fascinate me - they still do. I love eggs, as I believe I have mentioned previously, because the shape is just perfect. I used to collect marble, laquered and wood versions, but couldn't quite stretch to those beautifully jewelled varieties.

Tsar Alexander III commissioned the House of Fabergé to make an Easter egg for his wife the Empress Maria. The tradition continued and from 1887 Carl Fabergé was given complete freedom with regard to design, which then become more and more elaborate. The only stipulation was that each one should contain a surprise. I would guess that a plastic crocodile wouldn't cut it - take that, Kinder!

After the death of Alexander III, Nicholas II had one made each Easter for both his wife and mother. The tradition continued until the October Revolution, and 50 eggs were made, of which 42 have survived. The House of Fabergé made other eggs too, but these ones are known as the Imperial Eggs and I'm sure are worth a very pretty penny.

Last Week's Thing

Once again; the main stories that were making the news last week in my view.

9. The aptly named Ryder Hesjedal became Canada's first grand tour winner as he snatched victory from Joaquim Rodríguez on a dramatic final stage of the Giro d'Italia. Rodríguez, the Katusha rider who wore the race leader's maglia rosa for 10 days, took the considerable consolation of winning the points classification by a point from Mark Cavendish.

8. Chelsea won the Champions League Final over Bayern Munich on penalties. It was an exciting game and now they've got a pretty stunning double (having won the FA Cup as well) and I don't begrudge it all - even though they beat Liverpool in the final. Florent Malouda finally let get of the trophy to allow Chelsea to parade it down the Kings Road.
 

7. It's tough being Queen. To celebrate 60 years of the job, poor old Elizabeth had to go to Burnley. She took a barge trip down the canal with Prince Philip and Prince Charles, visited the Weavers area (rejuvenated through the work of Prince Charles' charity) and was 'entertained' at Turf Moor. Obviously she didn't have to watch an actual game (that would be stretching the definition of entertainment a bit too much), but she did have lunch there - Hollands pies perhaps? Apparently Prince Charles is already a Burnley fan, so Him Outdoors now reckons that the mighty clarets are by Royal Appointment.
 

6. State of Origin is a rugby league thing between New South Wales (the Blues) and Queensland (the Maroons). It is a hotly contested title, fought (oops, I mean played) over three games - best of three wins. In the first game, we had it all: biffo; dubious tries; captains whinging that referees don't listen to them (so that's not just a Kiwi thing then...); sinbins and hanbags. Oh, an in case you care, Queensland beat New South Wales 18-10.
 

5. Aftershocks are still shaking Northern Italy after the 6.0 earthquake that hit last Sunday leaving seven people dead, dozens injured, and thousands homeless. Hundreds of buildings have been destroyed across the historic and prosperous Emilia Romagna region, and the parmesan production (which contributes two billion Euros annually to Italy’s economy) has been badly damaged – Italian government has declared a state of emergency.
 

4. 108 people have been killed in the most recent massacre in Syria. In the town of Houla according to a United Nations statement the offensive "involved a series of government artillery and tank shellings on a residential neighbourhood" and the Security Council has condemned the action "in the strongest possible terms". Syrian foreign ministry spokesman Jihad al-Makdissi insisted that it was not the government and is blaming terrorists for the attack. The rebel Free Syrian Army (FSA) warned that unless the international community took concrete action it would no longer be bound by Annan's UN-backed peace plan and his April 12 ceasefire which has been violated daily. Adviors to the UN warn that civil war is imminent.

3. Schapelle Corby has had her prison sentence for drug smuggling reduced by another five years, so she is due for release in September 2017. At 34 years old, she has already served eight years of the term and appealed for clemency due to suffering from mental depression in prison. Indonesian law imposes harsh penalties on drug traffickers (she is convicted of trying to smuggle 4.1kg of marijuana into Bali in a bodyboard bag) and it can carry the death penalty. Apparently some people in Indonesia are outraged that she has been given clemency because she is a Westerner. Tensions abound when politicians and lawmakers draw comparisons between terrorism and drug smuggling.

 

2. Robin Gibb died aged 62. One of the members of the Bee Gees he was a voice of a decade and, with his brothers in the band, received a CBE in 2004 for contribution to music. It may not be my music, but Saturday Night Fever is certainly memorable. As are the hairdos and outfits.

 

1. Sweden won the Eurovision Song Contest with a song that sounded like Kate Bush trying to escape from an asylum. The wind machine was so overworked that it produced snow, and the angry little moth was happy, apparently. The song is called Euphoria. The entry from the UK sung by Englebert Humperdinck came second last with a total of twelve points, barely above Euro whipping boys Norway (of nul points fame). I liked the Russian Baboushki who came second and were clearly the audience favourite. This is a big deal in Austrailia, apparently. People have parties and play elaborate drinking games - I will blog about this further.