Friday Five: Boycotting Eurovision

Due to the presence of Israel in the Eurovision Song Contest, despite their 'participation in the conflict in Gaza', five countries have boycotted the event - not sending a contestant or televising the spectacle - complaining about the hypocrisy of banning Russia while allowing Israel to compete. So, here's the who's who of who's not.

There's no danger of getting the wrong outfit for Daði Freyr & Gagnamagnið

1. Iceland - Iceland have been represented at the Eurovision Song Contest 37 times since its debut in 1986. Since the introduction of the semi-final round (in 2004), Iceland has failed to qualify for the final nine times, including four years consecutively (2015-2018). To date, Iceland is the only Nordic country not to have won the contest. They have quite an odd record, actually, having achieved second place twice (in 1999 and 2009), losing out to Sweden and Norway respectively, but also having finished in last place four times, including 1989 when they received the dreaded nul points. Most recently they are best known for the banger of a single, Think about Things by Daði Freyr og Gagnamagnið, which was all set to represent Iceland in 2020 until the contest got cancelled due to COVID. It might have been their best attempt at the top spot as the song was a viral sensation and the band were adored for their catchy electropop, standout dance moves, awkward adolescent vibe and quirky personalised sweatshirts.
2. Ireland - It should be no surprise that Ireland have boycotted the contest this year, as they have form at protesting over this issue - down with this sort of thing. In 2024 Bambie Thug (who was one of my favourites) came sixth overall and was only allowed to perform after they removed make-up from their body which spelled out 'Ceasefire' in a Medieval Celtic script. The national broadcaster, RTE, which would normally televise the competition, has announced it will screen the satirical Father Ted Eurovision episode of 1996 instead. They are quite a big omission as along with Sweden, they have won the competition the most times (seven), although not since 1996. To be honest, I'm still traumatised by Johnny Logan's What's Another Year? from 1980. 
3. The Netherlands - Along with France, Luxembourg and the United Kingdom, the Netherlands have won this contest five times previously, most recently in 2019 when, incidentally, the contest was hosted by Israel in Tel Aviv. In 2024 Joost Klein qualified for the final with the relentlessly poppy Europapa, which came second in its semifinal and was hotly tipped to win the competition. However, following a backstage incident between Klein and a production staff member shortly after the semifinal performance, the Netherlands was disqualified from the final. The investigation into the incident was closed on 12 August due to a lack of evidence. This is the only time that an entrant has been disqualified during the contest.



Duncan Laurence wins Eurovision for the Netherlands in 2019 despite seemingly hand-syncing his keyboard playing


4. Slovenia - Slovenia debuted at the Eurovision Song Contest in 1993, and since the introduction of the semi-finals in 2004, they have qualified for the final eight times. They have not made it into the top ten since coming seventh in 2001. In 2025 they stated they would reconsider participation in the contest if the European Broadcasting Union did not respond adequately to concerns surrounding the 'transparency of the vote', referring to Israel's televote win n 2025. Obviously, no such assurance was received, and the general director of Slovenia's national broadcaster stated that their questions were ignored and, "we clearly won't be going to the Eurovision Song Contest'. With all due respect, I'm not sure anyone will particularly notice their absence.
5. Spain - Now, Spain, on the other hand... They are one of the Big Five (along with France, Germany, Italy and the United Kingdom), so now it is a Big Four. The aforementioned countries are the ones who contribute the most money to the European broadcasting Union and it is arguable that without these contributions, the contest would be financially unable to proceed. In return for this, they receive automatic entry into the final. This can actually work against their entry, with other countries feeling sour about giving them votes, or it might just be that their songs aren't all that good. (The UK entries for 2024 and 2025 both received no points from the public vote, although the juries brought them out of last place). Spain are no strangers to Eurovision controversy - they have two of only three non-winning entries who have been allowed to perform a second time. In 1990 the orchestra and backing track began the song out of synch, causing the singers to miss their cue, and in 2010 their performance was interrupted by a chap named Jimmy Jump known for pitch invasions and disruption of other entertainment events in order to show Catalan support. 

One of these people was not part of the act, although it made no more or less sense of the song.

Eurovision 2026 - Just the Songs

I know we all know that Eurovision is all about the staging and the politics and the personalities and the drinking games, but let's imagine just for a moment that it is actually a song competition and purely about the songs themselves. In that vein, I listened to them all without pictures (moving or otherwise), or without knowing which country they were representing, and this is my honest commentary on what I heard (in the order in which they appear on the official Eurovision Song Contest 2026 playlist).

Viva Moldova!

1. Dara - Bangaranga: I don't think they're referring to sexual relations with ginger-haired folk; it's got house beats, changes in tempo and a female-Prodigy energy. 
2. Felicia - My System: Kylie Minogue meets The Pet Shop Boys in this disco rave beats banger. Sample lyric: "You're in my head, my heart, my body parts; I can't get you out of my system."
3. Soren Torpegaard Lund - For Vi Gar Hjem: The pretty, boring ballad with the obvious chord progression, which will probably live rent free in the head.
4. Linda Lampenius, Pete Parkkonen - Leikinheitin: It's way too busy, but I like the violins.
5. Antigone - Jalla: More dancing and exhortation to hear the beat of the drum, shake your hips, dance on the table and get lost in the rhythm (or something like that). There's a smattering of ethnic styling and I imagine up-tempo belly dancing.
6. Sarah Engels - Fire: Is this Cyprus trying to be Destiny's Child complete with the earthy growl/ grunt ting and lyrics such as 'Boy, I'm out of your league.' There will doubtless be accompanying hair flicking and gratuitous crotch flashing.
7. Alexandra Capitanescu - Choke Me: Are you f*^king kidding me? It's probably supposed to be empowering and dark emo and all that, with a touch of Shakespeare's Sister-lite odd trills and screams, but the sub-dom lyrics are deeply unpleasant. 'All I need is your love. I want you to choke me.'
8. Satoshi - Viva, Moldova!: They clearly don't want to win the competition with this song - they haven't even got the budget for lyrics or tune. With ethnic instruments and unmelodic chanting, this had better have fun staging.
9. Akylas - Ferto: I'd dance to this down the clerb. Did he mention rally cars? It's got limited lyrics, but it feels pretty inclusive. I hope they have a gimmicky dance.
10. Jonas Lovv - Ya Ya Ya: It's got guts, broken bones (lyrically speaking) and an Arctic Monkeys/ White Stripes vibe, so I really like it but it won't get to the final. I'm also terrible at predicting these things so it may go on and win this thing. Or neither.
11. Sal da Vinci - Per sempre si: Sounds like a 1980s-style holiday music; there's probably one of those awful choreographed YMCA-type dances associated with it.
12. Monroe - Regarde!: This is outstandingly Fench hitting soaring operatic vocal highs and completing the gamut down to the spoken word. One could say Le chanson va partous. 
13. Veronica Fusaro - Alice: I really like this Amy Winehouse-style offering.



Eclipse by Delta Goodrem

14. Delta Goodrem - Eclipse: Obviously I know this is the Australian entry because I live here, and not under a rock. It's a strong commercial Euro-pop ballad with simple chords, mentions of astronomical love and those shouty vocals they seem to favour, plus she has an international profile since her Neighbours days, so it is perhaps in with a chance, although I question the lyric, 'We've only just begun'. I would say, it's been 11 years, Australia; you've had your fun; time to give it a rest now.
15. Cosmo - Tanzschein: This fills the dull dance number slot. 
16. Noam Bettan - Michelle: Ma Belle it is not, although the heartfelt sincerity is almost unbearable. Apparently this is Israel's representative so the crowd will hate it but it will mysteriously get lots of votes.
17. Lelek - Andromeda: Great vocal harmonies create a wall of sound combining traditional ethno and modern pop.
18. Essyla - Dancing on the Ice: Has Justin Trousersnake got a sister, because that's what this sounds like. 
19. Eva Marija - Mother Nature: I could have sworn that was Regina Spektor. It's quite clever with an appealing arrangement including some violin string plucking. They sing in English and sound pretty cute, so I'm guessing this is Luxembourg.
20. Bzikebi - On Replay: Typical bland boring Euro fare.
21. Tamara Zivkovic - Nova Zora: Military opera with a Euro beat and a voice changer. My printer was making weird noises, or was it the song?
22. Alis - Nan: A touch military and builds with good backing vocals but a fairly pedestrian lead and arrangement.
23. Vanilla Ninja - Too Epic to Be True: This is quite charming with an innocent Kim Wilde feel (I know a few folk who'd like that...); a disco/pop number with a fun spoken word section.



Look Mum, No Computer

24. Look Mum No Computer - Eins, Zwei, Drei: If I didn't already know this was the U.K., the piss-taking posturing nihilism and novelty-song elements with the post-modern refrain, "I'm s bored with it; what's the point of it?" No one will appreciate this disrespectful take on the contest.
25. Aidan - Bella: The highlight is the soaring James Bond-esque opening, and then there are some powerful strings but it descends into weak plinky plonky nonsense.
26. Simon - Palmoa Rumba: This is the hardcore club sound that leads to a great light show and no votes.
27. Senhit - Superstar: Not bad but not distinctive; a general disco dance tune.
28. Daniel Zizka - Crossroad: A bloke just shouting and wailing isn't music. I blame The Voice.
29. Alicja - Pray: An interesting mix of genres with some gospel energy and then some hip-hop rap.
30. Lavina - Kraj mene: The gloomy death metal number with dark sounds and screams. I like it, whihc I believe is the kiss of death.
31. Leleka - Ridnym: This is the sort of breathy tune I would expect from musical theatre, so it's fine if you like that sort of thing. I don't. A note on the high pitch squealing: just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
32. Lion Ceccah - Solo Quiero Mas: This one is the Euro filler; time to put the kettle on. 
33. Atvara - Ena: This means something to someone; it seems incredibly earnest with sudden spikes and heaps of emotion. I like the piano and the backing vocals. 
34. Bandidos do Cante - Rosa: It's quite bad when it strats out a cappella, and then the ethnic strings join in and it gets even worse. This might have done quite well in 1976. I think we've moved on. I hope we have, anyway. 
35. Jiva - Just Go: Imagine I Will Survive at half tempo. You're strong, well done, we get it, get off.

Alicja 

Friday Five: Theatre and Comedy

The cast in Never Closer: from left, Breanna Kelly, Natasha Lyall, Pippin Carroll, Joel Hrbek and Emily O'Mahoney

1. Never Closer - Off the Ledge Theatre, The Courtyard Studio: This is a solid play set in Northern Ireland during the Troubles when a friendship group is on the brink of exploring a wider world, and again ten years later when they reconnect for Christmas Eve as they always used to do, except this time one of them brings along their fiancé, and he's English. Director Lachlan Houen has assembled a great ensemble of actors with whom he clearly works well. He is bold in his directing choices, although this occasionally misses the mark, and there are some issues of pace where actors hit one note and stay there. Emily O'Mahoney as Deirdre is the only one with a credible Northen Ireland accent, although she wrings every ounce of bitterness out of her position as the one left behind who feels she has to martyr herself with folded arms and closed off physicality. Joel Hrbek is cute in the role of Jimmy - reassuring in his presence and warmth - whereas Nick Bisa plays the polar opposite, Conor, with monochromatic rage. Although Niamh, has arguably made the biggest change (in going to England and embracing the life and culture across the Irish Sea) she is possibly the least developed character of the play and consequently Natasha Lyall plays her with even delivery that is perhaps a little too measured. Breanna Kelly brings energy and sincerity to the role of Mary, in exactly the same way that she did to her character in You Tell My Mum I'm Dead, the previous production in which I saw her here, and I'd like to see something else. Pippin Carrol is sublime in the role of Harry, the odd one out, and for every English person who has ever been blamed for their government's choices, I feel your pain! The set design (Lachlan Houen, Sophie Hope-White, Liah Naidoo, Anna Lorenz) is appropriately busy, signifying the hoarding elements of an ancestral home without being cluttered, and while the ambient sound (Marlene Radice) enhances the production, the blast of the bomb needs to be a lot louder. Sight-lines are compromised whenever a character sits on the floor, and the costumes are not era-appropriate. The play makes me question who gets to tell whose story? This is an Australian playwright writing about an extremely sensitive Irish/ British experience produced by an Australian team in Canberra, and it just feels slightly off.
2. The Taming of the Shrew - Lakespeare, Belconnen Arts Centre: Director Karen Vickery has created the staging for outdoor performances but I saw it indoors (because I get annoyed by distractions), and it worked very well there too with the lakeland backdrop. The world created is big, bold, comic and colourful with grand gestures and gags, while costumes (Helen Wotja) and millinery (Rachel Henson) are extravagant and coordinated to households to help identity - the hats are a particular delight. Voices are generally loud and clear without shouting or straining, and all the action is through words and deeds rather than props (with the admirable exception of hobby horses) or set. There are four entrances on the diagonal, allowing cast to appear from multiple angles, and the only concession to set is a table for height (or hiding beneath). The gender switching works well, removing the violence, misogyny and general 'ick' often found in this play, replaced with a more playful rough and tumble. Ylaria Rogers is excellent and expressive as Petruchia, and when she catches Michael Cooper's arm as he goes to hit her in his role of  Christopher/ Kit and states calmly and firmly, 'do not strike me', it feels powerful and statesman-like. Cooper, meanwhile, is sulky and petulant as Kit rather than aggressive and spiteful, and he elicits sympathy instead of censure for his behaviour. When pretending to be someone else, the characters drop nods and winks as they add a skirt or a sash, with Anneke van der Velde Trania ('disguised' as Lucentia) being particularly good at this deception, engaging with the audience where others have some fear of eye contact. Always a joy to watch, Yanina Clifton takes both fun and weariness in being Grumia, the clown, who is very much the bridge between the actors' world of wealth and privilege and us, the normal folk.

3. Shakespeare in Love - Mockingbird Theatre, The Rehearsal Room: The play by Lee Hall is adapted from the film by Marc Norman and Tom Stoppard which we all loved thirty (yes, thirty) years ago. If you're thinking sumptuous costumes, swooning chemistry and delectable staging, think again. Director Chris Baldock has taken on an ambitious project to fit all the actors on stage - there are 23 of them in all - and the result is messy (and I've seen the dressing room, which must have been even more crowded). There is a greatly varied standard of acting from experienced senior actors to students from Mockingbird acting classes. Tom Cullen displays a range of emotion as Shakespeare and is adept at dialogue and supporting his scene partners. Unfortunately, although Asha Forno looks the part of Viola de Lesseps, she hasn't got the necessary gravitas and presence; similarly James Phillips as Christopher (Kit) Marlowe lacks the swagger and charisma demanded of the role. Liz St Clair Long revels in the regality and narcissism of Queen Elizabeth, whereas Bruce Hardie as Lord Wessex is underused and looks uncomfortable being there, as if he has tried his best but given up with some the more self-indulgent cast members. Sian Harrington stands out as the Nurse, Sachin Nayak as Lord Edmund Tilney gives a strong and grounding performance, and Rob Karlen enjoys dressing up and playing the foolish pretend nurse. Many of the witty one-liners and Shakespearean allusions are discarded without due consideration. It's hard to do comedy well, and this production merely highlights just how hard that can be. It may be a brave attempt but it falls short of the high standards set by Mockingbird and ultimately disappoints.
4. Emma Holland: The Dog Dies at the Start - The Street Presents Canberra Comedy Festival, Street One: Don't say you weren't warned; the trigger warning is in the title. This is almost a one-act play rather than a comedy routine, and Emma Holland rearranges the sparse set to make it larger and smaller as one feels when mourning the death of a pet. Using visual aids such as a screen and a clicker, she builds a world of her domestic circumstances, frquently having a laugh at her long-suffering mother's expense. The show explores the nature of grief in both a humorous and heartfelt way. Holland has a charming rapport with the audience, and she rambles and weaves the narrative on an extremely circuitous and deceptive route before concluding with a satisfactory ending like a true shaggy dog story should.
5. Lloyd Langford: Okay, I Believe You - Canberra Comedy Festival, The Playhouse: Lloyd's laconic style is belied by his mischievous eyes, wicked grin and the sense that he never takes himself too seriously. It may seem effortless to string a series of unrelated anecdotes and observations together, but he handles them with precision timing, apart from one instance when he is disturbed by a random snort (potentially laughter) from the audience. Some young drunken types found his accent pants-wettingly hilarious, which manifested in inane shrieks and performative outbursts at innocuous words like Hobart or dragon. Yep, he's Welsh, get over it. That aside, it's a joy to listen to a man at the top of his game riff on subjects as varied as Katy Perry, picking fights in playgrounds and cafes, and his mistrust of the cloud (he envisages it as the sickly-scented fumes left behind by an adolescent vaper, so that's unsurprising). His wife and daughter feature as topics in his show, not in any mawkish manner but in an entirely natural, they're-just-a-big-part-of-my-life sort of way. And there are lots of amusing moments in life, if we only stop to look for them. 
6. Melanie Bracewell: Dilly Dallying - Canberra Comedy Festival, Canberra Theatre Centre: Another comedy show without a theme is almost a theme in itself, especially when it is so well orchestrated. Melanie Bracewell is not so much a raconteur as that entertaining friend down the pub who fills their stories with colourful detail. Over the course of a meandering hour or so, she tells us about her recent engagement, by way of her previous boyfriends (the Four Fuckboys of the Apocalypse) and her fight with the neighbours over who has the best bin. She lets us know that this is the first stop on the tour, and she makes no aplogies for having her notes on stage. In fact, we seem to be taken into her confidence and feel like we may play some part in shaping the show, although by the end when the threads are all as neatly tied as a pair of shoelaces (you'll have to see the performance to see why that analogy works), it is clear that she was pulling the strings all along.

How well can you really ever know anyone? The Wife and The Widow

The Wife and the Widow by Christian White

Affirm Press

Pp. 326

In this novel Kate is the widow (husband; John) and Abby is the wife (husband; Ray), and, although this occasionally gets confusing, it is well-written and with enough suspense and intrigue to keep the reader engaged. It has a contemporary feel in that the characters frequently refer to true crime podcasts or “suburban procedural TV shows”, indicating that we have all become familiar with these, and that there is a communal enjoyment. It also explores a common theme of these novels in how secret lives are discovered after the death of a loved one (and sometimes even when they are alive), causing one character to reflect, “We all have things that ought to stay buried, things a person should keep to themselves. Things that, if they were ever dragged into the light, would change the way people saw us. I suppose my point is, how well can you really ever know anyone?”

 

With a wry aside to the power of fiction on susceptible minds, Kate first learns something may be amiss when she discovers her husband was skipping work and “reading horror novels by this mad American – Lovecroft? Something like that.” White examines the consequences of hiding feelings and burying emotions, suggesting that suppressed memory will never remain that way, even when counselled, “Put it someplace out of the way, in a room behind a locked door. Then all you have to do is not go in that room.” Kate remembers that John told their daughter they had to confront their fears; after all, “If they didn’t talk about the monsters in this world, then they wouldn’t be ready for them when they jumped out from under the bed.”

 

When Abby asks her husband why he hadn’t previously spoken to her of his fears, and dreams, he replies, “Come on Abby, I’m not one of your girlfriends. Men aren’t like that.” Later he relates his reading matter, “I started reading Tolstoy but couldn’t get into it. Vonnegut and Salinger were both pretty good. Didn’t mind Jane Austen either – bet you’re surprised to hear that one?” It’s difficult to tell whether this gender-reductive viewpoint is that of the character or the author, or both.

 

While appealing to the common denominator – we all consult Dr Google, right? “Her left foot ached with what the internet had diagnosed as either gout, a corn, or foot cancer.” – there are some aspects of the novel which are unoriginal or overexplained. We all know what TMI is and don’t need it spelled out. Similarly, the story of Orpheus and Eurydice is used to indicate the consequences of broken trust and looking back. This must be one of the most overworked myths in recent literature, and the fact that it needs to be explained suggests a level of disrespect for the reader.

 

On the other hand, the author deals well with the subject of grief. “Since John’s disappearance, such simple things had become near impossible. Preparing meals, for example, now seemed like a bizarre foreign custom, needlessly complicated.” Kate cannot easily see a way forward. “She baulked at people who said things like life’s too short and time passes in a blur and Jee-zus, is it Christmas already? Life was long, time moved too slow, and anyway fuck Christmas.” Her friend advises her how to cope with the aftermath. “You keep moving. You eat, you take a bath, you shave your legs and you keep looking forward. Guilt, fear, grief, they’re all like moss. If you slow down long enough, it’ll start to grow and it won’t stop until you’re covered.” Apart from the bit about shaving your legs – another male writing about women trope – this is an interesting metaphor.

 

At other times, the similes are so original as to almost be jarring. “She was quiet, like a duck slipping through a pond.” A false person speaks “words like a backdrop in a Hollywood studio, held together by balsawood and coated in cheap paint.” While waiting for news, a character smokes with attitude. “He sucked on the cigarette hard and fast, as if he was hoping to develop lung cancer before dinnertime.” The colloquial is ever-present as the ferry doors opened and “spat the Lexus out like a dislodged chunk of meat” or fact is sifted from fiction. “Around here, rumours are like holey buckets. They don’t hold water.”

 

The characters and setting are distinctly Australian. Abby practices taxidermy on roadkill her friends bring her, and the tools of her trade, pelts and glassy eyes are all fabulously macabre. It is set on a fictional Victorian (Australian) island out of season where, “The island represented a cold exclamation mark at the end of a sentence.” The atmosphere is frigid and grim, or as Abby puts it, “It’s colder than a fairy penguin’s pocket.”

 

Overall, this is an intense and compelling thriller which is hugely readable and atmospheric. It is only White’s second novel and already he is being described by The Age as a master of the art of misdirection.

Friday Five: Cross-stitch Monolpoly

I used to love Monopoly. I played it with my best friend and the game went on for weeks. We made up characters for all the locations (sleazy landlord; beautiful heiress; debonair man-about-town; brilliant scientist; that sort of thing) and placed them on levels depending on how often a player visited that square - the winner was the one who got to level 10 (on a bookcase and other furniture in my firend's family room). The game was not about the players but about the locations themselves. I had the American version and she had the British version. We made our own of our home town - of course the streets on which we lived had prime position.

When we played it as children with my father, we let each other off the rent if we landed on a property one of us 'owned', but we always made him pay. And we also gave each other interest free loans if we happened to land on his and couldn't afford to pay up (hence being eliminated from the game). It was him rather than us who perpetrated the board flip complaining, "How on earth did I raise such socialist children?"

In light of all that, I enjoyed this cross stitch kit from Spruce Craft, although I did change the words on the first and last designs. 

Introduction to Figure Skating Free Dance

The figure skating ice dance is a combination of the rhythm dance and free dance. I didn't see the rhythm dance, but they set them off for the second component in reverse order (worst to best in other words). In the free dance there are three required lifts and then they can add in other stuff which gives them scope for creativity. There are ringside kids who skate onto the ice and pick up any flowers or bouquets that are chucked at the performers by the audience. While they await their results, the dancers sit at a panel with boxes of tissues to hand. Should we be alarmed by the Puff Tissues sponsorship?

Spain are beautiful and smooth; not overly complex or difficult, but charming like grey and white swans gliding across the ice.

Sweden dance to 'our tune' from Romeo and Juliet - there's a lot of that this year, apparently. There's also a lot of being on their knees. He's in black; she's in red; she stands on his legs as he lifts her - lots of tender holds, waving arms and rotating heads. We're informed this is the tragic tale told backwards so they die at the start and meet with a kiss at the end. Fair enough. This is the first Swedish team ever to represent at ice dance, and they incorporate a choreographic hydroblade move which sounds impressive, but only gets them 97.74, which comes in last, so what do I know?

Australia wearing different shades of sparkly blue dance to Claire de Lune with a routine intended to indicate the excitement of a new relationship. I think it's pretty but dull, but the commentator says it was 'flawless; sensitive and complex'. This may be bias, as they are the third Australian ice dance team ever to perform on the Olympic stage, and they receive a score of 108.64, which puts them into 18th place.

The Czech pairing do a sort of flamenco dance with elements of Paso Doble. It is dramatic and compelling; she almost overpowers him, but he does have good partnering skills, and they receive a score of 109.35.

The first of the GBR teams wear champagne bodice and tweed trousers. They also dance to a Romeo and Juliet theme, displaying a range of emotions through their storytelling and lifts. With devastating insight the female commentator explains, 'That's a straight-line lift because it goes in a straight line'. 106.99 for them.

Canada rock a Cleopatra-inspired dance with lots of cross-legged positions and some up-tempo modern moves, including an inventive chin-lift. The second half of the routine is bolder and more dynamic causing the male commentator to quip, "It went from Cleopatra to Cleopatra comin' at'cha". 112.83

The second Czech couple take their theme from The Matrix and dance the characters of Neo and Trinity apparently - I have to take the commentators' word for it as I have never seen the film. There are lots of shapes (and her dramatic catsuit accentuates them all) as she skates between his legs and they range from various levels from ground to lift. I think it's pretty cool and quite different. The judges award it 109.67 (which is 0.32 more than their compatriots).

Balance and strength are on display when Georgia take to the ice in glowing red outfits and perform a calm and fluid sequence to the classy chords of Mussorgsky's cello piece. earning them a score of 118.57.

Next up, in another flowing red dress, Finland offer a change in power dynamic to tell the very real story of the exploitation of women in the skating scene through the medium of tango on ice. The female commentator says, "It was a dance that makes you think"; the male commentator says, quoting Bertolt Brecht, "Art is not a mirror held up to society but a hammer with which to shape it. Art doesn't always have to make you feel comfortable. Sometimes the discomfort can lead to reflection and societal change. That was brave." I thought it was excellent. The judges thought it was 118.07 (11th in this part of the competition; 13th when combined with the score from the other discipline).

The dynamic duo from the USA have based their dance on Perfume: The Story of a Murder, and she wears a pale pink frock covered in roses which bleed from her neck. The descriptors are 'Horrible, haunting and beautiful all at the same time"; the verdict is 119.47.

A second Spanish team use a fabulous, theatrical piece that captures the zeitgeist of Dune. There are spins with crossed legs, controlled slides and spiky backwards lifts as her costume is a flowing sandstorm and his is a military blue. We are told that all of these dancers have to find their own creative identity - the judges (and the crowd) clearly like this one and their score of 122.98 end up putting them in sixth place in this discipline (their tenth in the other half leads them to finish in ninth overall).

Another Canadian couple perform something to do with Rudolph Nureyev from The White Crow. It's all delightful synchronicity and endlessly smooth spins in black and white sombre garb: serene and sensitive and 120.14

This French team are dancing to music by Bjork because she is a unique artist and it matches their style, apparently. Their blue outfits resemble a wave, and their character step sequence is described as being avant-garde with a strong classical underpinning. 121.43

Next up, Lithuania, who execute a big and bold routine to the techno tune God is a DJ. She's in a black and gold catsuit; they pull out the rave moves and the crowd love it, clapping along and cheering away - it's a fun programme. 121.73

The USA team perform yet another routine to a Romeo and Juliet theme. We are told that it incorporates a dead spin and is highly technical, but I'm just a bit over it all. 123.19

The Italians present us with a diamante-encrusted homage to Italian fashion and a narrative of togetherness - he trips on a twizzle, but they still get 125.3 from the judges.

In true British style, expectation weighs heavily on Lilah Fear and Lewis Gibson - their Spice Girl routine in the rhythm dance was scorching leaving them in fourth place, and their Scottish-themed offering is highly anticipated. They dance with confident and highly entertaining Highland Fling elements to a medley of Auld Lang Syne, Bonnie Banks of Loch Lomond and The Proclaimers as they stomp and twirl in tartan. But them there is a twizzle error and despite a fantastic recovery, she is devastated and their score of 118.95 sends them tumbling down to 12th place in this section and leaves them in 7th overall. 

Canada secure a bronze medal with their Starry Night vibe of dramatic tempo changes and speedy spins. I particularly like their impressionist outfits and sensational sunflower earrings, which may not be the entire point. 131.56

No further change in the silver medal position either as the USA skate to Pant it Black with a bullfighting motif. With constant movement and detail, she is the matador (her skirt is the cape) and he is the bull. It is passionate and technical and the female commentator opines, "Sometimes this is whether you like apples or oranges. They can both be good." 134.67

France win the competition coming first in both sections. They are gloriously elegant in their teal outfits with lifts and spins evocative of their 'Whales' theme. The creative movement is smooth and exquisite as if navigating water in a conceptual interpretation. The female commentator seems a little disgruntled claiming that it is an insular performance. "It is about them, and we're watching it so it's not an outward piece in my view." The judges disagree and the couple gain 135.64 points. 

Friday Five: Books Read in February

1. The Deep Blue Sea by Terrence Rattigan (Nick Hern Books) - A very fine play set over the course of a day in a shabby London flat in the 1950s. The play begins with the discovery of Hester by her neighbours and landlady after she has failed in an attempt to take her own life by gassing herself. It soon becomes apparent that the source of her anguish is her relationship with Freddie, a former RAF pilot, who cannot love her as she wishes to be loved. Her husband, Sir William, a respectable judge, is reluctant to grant her a divorce on the grounds that he now cares for her more than ever. But is it enough or is it just because she is "simply a prized possession that has now become more prized for having been stolen."? While others tip-toe around her predicament, it is the straight-talking struck-off doctor, Mr Miller from upstairs, who is able to force her to face reality. The play is a great expose of social mores across ever-widening chasms of class and culture.  
2. The Wife and the Widow by Christian White (Affirm Press) - A well-written, suspensful and engaging novel with plenty of intrigue that examines the consequences of hiding feelings and burying emotions. When Kate's husband, John, dies, part of her grieving process is to return to their holiday home on a fiction island (which seems remarkably like Bruny Island), that "represented a cold exclamation mark at the end of a sentence." As the title suggests, there is another viewpoint from which the story is narrated, that of Abby, the wife, with husband Ray. There is of course the secret life aspect that is no surprise when it surfaces, some aspects of the novel are unoriginal and over-explained, and it’s difficult to tell whether the occasional gender-reductive viewpoint is that of the character or the author, or both. Overall, however, sharp writing, original similes and colloquial appeal make this an intense and compelling thriller which is hugely readable and atmospheric.



Tom Hollander as Henry Carr and Clare Foster as Cecily in Travesties, directed by Patrick Marber in 2016

3. Travesties by Tom Stoppard (Faber) - The characters in this sublime play include Tristan Tzara (Dadaist who wears a monocle), James Joyce, Lenin, and Henry Carr – based on a real character from history who performed in The Importance of Being Ernest, directed by Joyce when they all live in Zurich. Carr then sued and was counter-sued by Joyce over nonpayment of tailor’s bills due to Carr’s insistence on wearing sartorially elegant trousers for the production, and Joyce believing he had not been reimbursed for ticket sales. This is mentioned in a minor footnote in Ulysses, and Stoppard picked it up and turned it into a play. In much the same way as in Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, the characters of Gwendolyn and Cecily from Ernest come to the fore, and in similar fashion to Arcadia, time and place overlap – like a derailed toy train that must be set back on its rails – this is also in part due to Henry Carr being old and senile (we see Old and Young Carr, both played by the same actor), and an entirely unreliable narrator – he may not even have been the consulate he believes he was/is. There are so many layers of understanding and allusion – recycling and reappearing like the Dadaist anti-structure which removes meaning, context and cause – that it needs to be read and deserves to be seen.
4. The Good Husband of Zebra Drive by Alexander McCall Smith (Abacus) - As with all the novels in the No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency series (this is the eighth), the crimes themselves - a person stealing stationary supplies, three suspicious deaths in a hospital at the same time in the same bed - are secondary to the characters, their development (or otherwise) and relationships to each other. Mma Makutsi is greatly looking forward to her future life with her fiancé, and she bridles at her apparent lack of authority with Mma Ramotswe. Meanwhile, Mr J. L. B. Matekoni is bored with his job and asks to take on some detective work. He lands the role of investigating for Mma Botumile, who suspects her husband is having an affair. She is the “rudest woman in the whole of Botswana” so he wouldn’t be surprised, although he tells himself he must not judge. He asks what car her husband drives so he can follow him after work and see where he goes, but she only tells him it is a red car, which horrifies him – how can she not know the make and model? Of course, he follows a different red car and investigates the wrong man. Charlie, the apprentice, buys a Mercedes Benz and leaves Mr J. L. B. Matekoni’s garage to become a taxi driver. He is distracted by dreams of greatness and girls, and his fledgling business fails to launch. And, once again, we return to the comforting bush wisdom of Mma Ramotswe, who believes that women make better detectives because they observe more detail and have natural intuition. “There was room in this world, Mma Ramotswe thought, for things done by men and things done by women; sometimes men could do the things done by women, sometimes not. And vice versa, of course."