Olympic Stream of Consciousness: Track Cycling

Team GB Women's Team Sprint

World records seem to tumble in this discipline, and the first one goes when Katy Marchant, Sophie Capewell and Emma Finucane win gold for GBR in the Women's Team Sprint. (NZL silver, GER bronze). It's a peculiar event, which starts with three cyclists in the team and finishes with one. There is a solid and impressive performance in the Men's Sprint from Australia to beat France for bronze, even if the commentators have no idea what's going on). Then the Netherlands beat Britain for gold (by 0.8 seconds), with yet another world record, possibly due to the slight wobble from Team GB at the start whereas NED display strength, power, and formidable straight lines.

Ethan Hayter slips from his saddle in the Men's Team Pursuit

In the Men's Team Pursuit, Denmark are clearly leading Italy (whose team includes time trial machine and silver medalist at the Games, Filippo Ganna) but they fall apart and can't stick together as a three in the final lap and Italy take bronze. In the final, GBR and AUS change lead almost every lap and both are down to three riders at 2500m. On the final lap, Ethan Hayter for GBR slips in his saddle and nearly loses control of his bike, not sure if this is a technical issue or rider error (due to his power he has ridden an extra half-lap turn at the front and this may have been too much for the lad). Either way, AUS take the gold - their first on the track since Anna Meares famously beat Victoria Pendleton in 2012. 

Fourth consecutive Olympic medal in the Women's Team Pursuit for Team GB

In the Women's Team Pursuit bronze medal race, GBR start poorly - they are messy and not together, potentially missing their training mate, Katie Archibald, who suffered a freak accident a short while back when she tripped on a garden step and dislocated her ankle, broke her tibula and fibula and tore ligaments from the bone. Gardening is dangerous, kids! Italy are in the lead until the last one and a half laps, and GBR pull back four seconds in the last kilometre to take bronze (their coach, Cameron Meyer, tells them they are on schedule when they are actually 0.6 seconds behind in an example of headology.). The quartet of Elinor Barker, Josie Knight, Anna Morris and Jess Roberts ensure that GBR have reached the podium every time since this event was introduced to the Olympics in 2012.

Kristen Faulkner wins her second gold in two different disciplines

In the gold medal race, USA are way ahead of NZL for most of the race; they blow apart briefly but come back together to win gold. One of their team members, Kristen Faulkner, who also won gold in the Women's Road Race, becomes the first American woman to win titles in two different disciplines at the same Olympics,  and only the third overall. (At the Sydney 2000 Olympics, Leontien Ziljaard-van Moorsel of the Netherlands won the individual pursuit on the track before adding the road race and time trial titles, while Ester Ledecka (CZE) won Alpine Skiing and Snowboarding golds at Pyeonchang in 2018.) Faulkner had only been due to race in the velodrome in Paris, but was entered into the road race just weeks before the Games to replace team-mate Taylor Knibb, who chose to focus on the time trial and triathlon. 

Neah Evans gets back on her bike after this crash and finishes the race

The last event I watch is the Women's Omnium - the elimination is fun but bokers; if a rider takes you out, they are disqualified or penalised, but you don't get any extra points. It's utterly frantic and the commentators spend most of the time trying to explain what's happening and regularly failing. The event is won by Jennifer Valente (USA), with Daria Pikulik (POL) second, and Amy Wollaston (NZL) third.

Olympic Stream of Consciousness: Rowing

Marne looks delightful. Two English commentators with London accents; one, who sounds a lot like Danny Dyer but is actually Martin Cross, has all the goss from the village and knows about the lucky socks and how they pack a suitcase. The repercharge or row-off is a strange qualification process - allowing competitors another go to get into the final. In the second Women's Double Sculls Semi Final, the GB team have a brilliant row, but the Romanians come storming home to win. Norway burgle third and the Aussies are out, so don't expect to see that final shown on the television. As the athletes are introduced in their boats they have to make a decision as to whether to wave to the crowd or not - it's a thing. 

The Women's Quadruple Sculls Final is one of the best events on the programme - not just because GBR win, but because the quality of the racing is so good and is described as 'one of the all-time great comeback finsihes'. One of the British crew - Georgina Brayshaw - made a comeback from a broken back and a coma after a horseriding accident. There's a bit of this going on. The Dutch rower, Marloes Oldenburg, is a member of the gold-winning Women's Four crew after breaking her back in a mountainbiking incident two years ago. Meanwhile, Martin Cross says of the Women's Double Sculls final (NZL/ROU/GBR), 'I don't know if we've got room for any more excitement.' 

In the Men's Double Sculls, the position changes many times before Romania win and both stand up in the boat after they cross the line, which seems like showing off - I'm just jealous of the balance. The Women's Four is incredibly close with just 0.18 seconds separating the gold (NED) and silver (GBR) with NZL in third, while Team GB have a terrible start in the Men's Four but a solid middle to finish third (USA gold; NZL silver). In the Men's Pair, the Brits are burgled by the Croatians (the innappropriately-named Sinkovich brothers) as Tom George catches a crab in the final five strokes and come second by less than half a second. Switzerland come third, but Martin Cross speaks for many of us as he admits, "I wasn't even watching the bronze. Apologies." The Netherlands blitz the Women's Pair race and are imperious as they finish lengths ahead, before the Romanians (who win silver) have to sprint back to compete in other races. 

This is the last time the lightweight double sculls will be in the Olympics, since being introduced in 1996. The men's is won by the Irish defending their gold from Tokyo, with shamrocks on their blades. Paul O'Donovan apparently has a most unusual thumb technique, but Martin Cross tells us he is "always one for the interviews", so I suppose he's full of details like that. He notes the difference between his training course at home and this one in Paris is that "it's the same length, but there's a big grandstand and a fancy paint job". They are very excited about having endured their last weigh-in and being taken out by the French lads for baguettes and wine. Meanwhile the Women's Lightweight Double Sculls (in which the rowers may not exceed 57kg) is won by Great Britain (Romania second and Greece third).

The Netherlands win the Women's Single Sculls by a boat length, while the Men's Single Sculls is delayed due to traffic and the fact that the competitors are still on the bus. When they do complete their race, Germany take gold (Oliver Zeidler is arguably the best sculler in the world) and AIN come second. This is a neutral athlete (mainly Russian or Belarussian) who is unable to comete for their country because that country is banned from the Olympics. In this case, Yauheni Zalaty (born in Belarus) was last with 500m to go, until a storming finish. No resting for the Romanians, as they are back in the Women's Eight and they win another gold - four were also in the Four; one was in the Pair; two in the Double Sculls - how's that for a maths question set up? And in the final event on the rowing programme, GBR win the Men's Eight, and clearly all my hard work yelling at the television screen has paid off.

Olympics: It's a very very Madison world

Another day; another medal haul, and this time New Zealand have been invited to the party. Bevan Docherty and Nick Willis claiming bronze in the triathlon and 1,500m respectively were fantastic . It was great to see Docherty bounding onto the podium to celebrate - it's not all about gold, although that would be nice, obviously.

Team GB's dominance at the velodrome continues to such an extent that I read a blog questioning whether we are too good at cycling. What? Do the Aussies ever worry that they are too good at cricket? Do the Scandinavians fret about their dominance of Nordic skiing? Do the Americans get perturbed about their invasion of countries who have democratically elected Communist leaders? There's only one thing to be said - 'On yer bike'!

The problem with success is that you come to expect it. So, it was slightly disappointing that neither the mighty Bradley Wiggins and Mark Cavendish, nor the sensational Hayden Roulston and Greg Henderson managed to sparkle in the Madison. But what an incredible event this is! The BBC live updates on-line covered it in their usual inimitable style. Their descriptions of it included the following:

• The duck billed platypus of the sporting world
• Looks like something out of Ben Hur
• An athletic contest in which participants 'go queer' in their heads, and strain their powers until their faces become hideous with the tortures that rack them, is not sport. It is brutality.
• Who invented this sport? Jackson Pollock?
• The only thing that would make the Madison madder would be to give the participants swords
• The Madison will probably become a West End stage show - as long as Lloyd Webber doesn't have the final choice of riders, or music...

Olympics: Medal weekend

Wow! All those medals; all those records; what a fantastic weekend!

I have great respect for all the athletes who are rowing, riding, sailing and swimming their way to the Olympic podium and to all of those who oh-so-nearly made it. Missing out by one hundredth of a second must be heartbreaking, and if our screams at the television set could help, you know you would have made it, by a fingertip or a bow-ball.

Team GB is looking unstoppable on the track, and it’s fabulous to see all that effort reaping rewards. Britian is currently placed third in the medals table which is actually undreamt of in living memory (if you can have memorable dreams – this is certainly one). I heard one commentator remark that all the other countries must feel like gatecrashers at a private party. But Hayden Roulston had a flier – I hope that was good for heart.

My friend remarked glumly at the beginning of the weekend that I should expect a lot of fourths from New Zealand. I’m sure she is more than happy to be proved wrong by the new Kiwi golden girls in rowing and shot-put to hold a candle to Sarah Ulmer from previous Olympic outings.

And I have to admit I was cheering my heart out for Mahe Drysdale and am so glad he held on to a medal, even if it wasn’t the colour he wanted. I’m even more pleased that he managed to give such a terrific interview, minutes after collapsing, and not blaming his illness as the interviewer so wanted him to, and just remarking that, “I pushed myself to the limit and probably beyond. I'm proud and I guess for peace of mind I knew there's nothing more I could have done. That's a great feeling to know that.”

So huge bouquets to all of the athletes involved, but once again, brickbats to TVNZ who cut away from the rowing as it was still happening to show repeats of the race we had just watched. I know NZ had won its first gold medal and they were very proud of the Evers-Swindell twins, and rightly so. It was a fantastic race with one of the closest finishes between the top three likely to be seen on the water.

But there were other events still taking place. Up until last week NZ were still interested in the men’s coxless four. Now that they have not got a boat in it, the TV coverage decided not to feature it. This is simply pathetic and an example of the parochial arrogance and lack of sportsmanship, usually reserved for rugby ‘supporters’, that tarnishes their reputation amongst sports fans overseas. Most Kiwis are not like this at all, so I wish the media would stop enforcing this image! Are they really so scared of the dreaded four?

Meanwhile, Team GB won the gold in the coxless four, in case anyone in New Zealand cares. Go you good things. Thank God for the Internet and the BBC.