Friday Five: Cross-stitch Scandi Love

This collection from Spruce Cross Stitch was called 'Scandi-love', so I thought it approrpriate to post them as we head into Eurovision. I gave the first one of them to a friend for her birthday - it sits framed on her desk at work.

 

Horror in Another Dimension: Strange Houses

Strange Houses by Uketsu

Pushkin Vertigo

Pp.197

 

This is the first of three (so far) short novels by Uketsu, translated to English from the original Japanese by Jim Rion. According to the publisher’s blurb, the author, Uketsu, is “an enigmatic YouTuber and author, specializing in horror and mystery, who has exploded onto the literary scene in Japan, where his books have sold millions of copies. He only ever appears online, wearing a mask and speaking through a voice changer. His true identity is unknown.” A sort of viral Banksy if you will.

 

The story begins with the narrator explaining, “I’m a freelance writer, my speciality being stories of the macabre. Given this line of work, lots of people approach me with their personal experiences of the eerie and the unpleasant.” He goes on to tell a story with a blanket level of detail, in which floor plans and family trees take up half the book – refreshingly, there is no need to flick back to the beginning pictures to follow along. The floor plans reveal hidden passages and secret rooms for nefarious business. Most of the text is written as play dialogue, which contains all the exposition so there is very little description. There is an element of Edgar Allen Poe’s short stories; thrilling creepy tales that can be read in a day or two.

 

In keeping with detective fiction rules that all clues must be mentioned, there are plenty of apparent irrelevancies, but also deliberate omissions. Despite exhuming some standard tropes, the Japanese horror story is certainly different. Sub-headings within chapters are almost like a child’s first reader: A Message from a Friend; An Unexpected Email; The Mysterious Space; Daydream; Two Bathrooms; The Article; A Grisly Discovery; Differences; The Letter; The Hidden Room; The Sign. The tale deals with dismembered bodies, curses, murderous children, blackmail, and the importance of succession and illegitimacy. One character fairly remarks, “I can see how it all fits together, but… isn’t it all a little far-fetched? It’s so convoluted.” Japanese horror is built on this sort of thing, and there is already a film - released in Japan in 2024.

 

The murders themselves seem quite matter of fact. “The Katabuchi family has been murdering people for generations. I don’t know why, but it has become a tradition.” When a character suspects her father is involved, the narrator notes, “It was not the kind of truth that most people could have accepted so calmly, but she seemed surprisingly untroubled.” He, himself, hardly seems more disturbed, as he ponders where a child was killed, but not why they were killed at all. He casually discusses horrific customs, such as, “Mabiki. ‘Thinning the garden’. In Japan, there was once a tradition of aborting babies or even killing children to keep down the number of mouths to feed. The practice lasted into the late nineteenth or even early twentieth century in some communities.” When the ending appears to be inconclusive, and his colleague “flashed a broad grin”, he allows himself to feel “a twinge of irritation at his total lack of concern.”

 

Training children in macabre cults and brainwashing them into murder adds a particularly chilling element. “He had an unhealthy pallor, and his expression was as blank as if it had never known emotion… He never took any action of his own volition and never expressed any of his own feelings or desires.” The whole scenario is highly implausible, but this is the breeding ground for horror. “It sounds wild, but we already know the Katabuchi family is not a normal one.” Investigating murder by looking into floor plans brings a new angle – in many dimensions – to a standard genre. They may be compact crimes, but they are far from cosy.

Fiday Five: Latest Cat Memes

Simply because these things make me happy, and anyone who shares feline company can relate.

Friday Five: Books Read in March

1. Prisoners of Geography by Tim Marshall (Elliott and Thompson Ltd) - To see how nations and cultures behave they way we do, we often look to history. In this fascinating work, Tim Marshall posits that past actions may have more to do with geography; natural rivers and mountains as boundaries (France was a successful nation because it has the most kilometres of navigable rivers of any country in the world, thus facilitating movement of goods and ease of trade), and artificial partitions (the arbitrary division of East and West Pakistan has caused unrest and volatility in the subcontinent for the past eighty years). For example, the USA and Russia had communication and unification issues purely due to their physical magnitude; Egypt didn't become a colonialist power because it had no trees with which to build ships; and China seeks expansion to secure warm water seaports. Control of ports, seas, exclaves, canals and straits are of crucial geopolitical importance. Marshall wrote this book in 2015, and this is a revised version published in 2025. With recent global conflicts, including the war to control the Strait of Hormuz, he has plenty to include in his next update. 
2. Cunning Women by Elizabeth Lee (Windmill Books) - Of course I was going to read this book set in 1620 Lanacshire, at the height of the persecution of women condemened as wiches. In a small hamlet abandoned since the plague, the only people who live there are the Haworth family: Sarah, her little sister Annie (who is practically feral), her brother John and their mother, who is losing her wits (increasingly conversing with her familiar, Dew Springer) potentially due to lack of contact with the local community. It's sort of a love story as Daniel falls for Sarah but cannot explain why, so naturally others say it's because she has bewitched him, particularly the pretty May Queen who wants him for herself. It is also an exposé of hypocrisy as the villagers like the family and use their knowledge when it suits them, but blame and condemn them when that is more convenient.
3. The Dark Side of Camelot by Seymour Hersch (Harper Collins) - There is a romantic view of JFK, enhanced in part by his assassination. If that's the way you'd like to preserve your idealisation, I would recommend steering clear of this book. From his serial womanising (he had people to procure him prostitutes and warn him when Jackie was returning to the White House so he could get them out of the pool), to his evident connections with the Mafia and organised crime, via his complete and callous incompetency over the Bay of Pigs incident and the Cuban Missile Crisis, there was something very rotten in the state of D.C. As part of his personal feud with Fidel Castro, Kennedy authorised to the CIA to lace Castro's cigars with toxins, poison his milkshakes, prepare contaminated diving suits and rig brightly-coloured explosive seashells in the areas where he commonly went skin diving, not to mention bringing the world to the brink of nuclear war. He made deals with Russian politicians, which have only come to light since the declassification of documents and personal correspondence in the late 1990s, escalated the Vietnam War and approved the use of chemical weapons. He was also on multiple drugs (including opioids, anaesthetics, steroids, tranquilizers and stimulants) to manage his back pain - naturally this toxic cocktail would have affected his judgement as much as the corset he wore to straighten his posture prevented him from slouching in the seat on that fatal day in Dallas. The tone of the book is very serious and wordy, so don't expect light relief, but then again, you might consider that the hagiography of an arrogant, misguided misogynist to be no laughing matter.
4. The Shortest History of Australia by Mark McKenna (Black Inc.) - The 'Shortest History of' series began with Europe in 2012. It has since expanded to include titles on Japan, Greece, Ancient Rome, India, Democracy, The Crown, War, Economics and Innovation. The premise is that they offer 'clear and concise accounts of broad-ranging topics from the world's leading subject matter experts [that] can be read in an afternoon and will transform your perspective for a lifetime.' At over 250 pages and packed with facts and information, I dispute the idea that this could be read in an afternoon, but I do agree that it is fascinating and illuminating. Perhaps the main theory behind this treatsie is that the history of Australia is neither linear nor consequential but that many strands can co-exist consecutively. Indigenous Australia, the penal colony, the gold rush, Federation, WWI and the formation of the Anzac legend (Australia being "the only modern nation-state to create an origin myth not located on its own soil"), WWII, the Cold War, and waves of non-British migration are all necessary to the shaping of the country, and all are essential to understand Australia as it is now.  
5. Strange Houses by Uketsu (Pushkin Vertigo) - In this Japanese horror/ mystery, housing floor plans and family trees take up half the book. Much of the text is written as play dialogue, which contains all the exposition, so there is very little description. The tale deals with dismembered bodies, family curses, murderous children, blackmail, and the importance of succession. Despite being pretty far-fetched and exhuming some standard tropes, the creepy thriller is certainly different in style. There is an element of Edgar Allen Poe's short stories, which can be read in a day or two, but leaves a lasting impression.

Friday Five: Boycotting Eurovision

Due to the presence of Israel in the Eurovision Song Contest, despite their 'participation in the conflict in Gaza', five countries have boycotted the event - not sending a contestant or televising the spectacle - complaining about the hypocrisy of banning Russia while allowing Israel to compete. So, here's the who's who of who's not.

There's no danger of getting the wrong outfit for Daði Freyr & Gagnamagnið

1. Iceland - Iceland have been represented at the Eurovision Song Contest 37 times since its debut in 1986. Since the introduction of the semi-final round (in 2004), Iceland has failed to qualify for the final nine times, including four years consecutively (2015-2018). To date, Iceland is the only Nordic country not to have won the contest. They have quite an odd record, actually, having achieved second place twice (in 1999 and 2009), losing out to Sweden and Norway respectively, but also having finished in last place four times, including 1989 when they received the dreaded nul points. Most recently they are best known for the banger of a single, Think about Things by Daði Freyr og Gagnamagnið, which was all set to represent Iceland in 2020 until the contest got cancelled due to COVID. It might have been their best attempt at the top spot as the song was a viral sensation and the band were adored for their catchy electropop, standout dance moves, awkward adolescent vibe and quirky personalised sweatshirts.
2. Ireland - It should be no surprise that Ireland have boycotted the contest this year, as they have form at protesting over this issue - down with this sort of thing. In 2024 Bambie Thug (who was one of my favourites) came sixth overall and was only allowed to perform after they removed make-up from their body which spelled out 'Ceasefire' in a Medieval Celtic script. The national broadcaster, RTE, which would normally televise the competition, has announced it will screen the satirical Father Ted Eurovision episode of 1996 instead. They are quite a big omission as along with Sweden, they have won the competition the most times (seven), although not since 1996. To be honest, I'm still traumatised by Johnny Logan's What's Another Year? from 1980. 
3. The Netherlands - Along with France, Luxembourg and the United Kingdom, the Netherlands have won this contest five times previously, most recently in 2019 when, incidentally, the contest was hosted by Israel in Tel Aviv. In 2024 Joost Klein qualified for the final with the relentlessly poppy Europapa, which came second in its semifinal and was hotly tipped to win the competition. However, following a backstage incident between Klein and a production staff member shortly after the semifinal performance, the Netherlands was disqualified from the final. The investigation into the incident was closed on 12 August due to a lack of evidence. This is the only time that an entrant has been disqualified during the contest.



Duncan Laurence wins Eurovision for the Netherlands in 2019 despite seemingly hand-syncing his keyboard playing


4. Slovenia - Slovenia debuted at the Eurovision Song Contest in 1993, and since the introduction of the semi-finals in 2004, they have qualified for the final eight times. They have not made it into the top ten since coming seventh in 2001. In 2025 they stated they would reconsider participation in the contest if the European Broadcasting Union did not respond adequately to concerns surrounding the 'transparency of the vote', referring to Israel's televote win n 2025. Obviously, no such assurance was received, and the general director of Slovenia's national broadcaster stated that their questions were ignored and, "we clearly won't be going to the Eurovision Song Contest'. With all due respect, I'm not sure anyone will particularly notice their absence.
5. Spain - Now, Spain, on the other hand... They are one of the Big Five (along with France, Germany, Italy and the United Kingdom), so now it is a Big Four. The aforementioned countries are the ones who contribute the most money to the European broadcasting Union and it is arguable that without these contributions, the contest would be financially unable to proceed. In return for this, they receive automatic entry into the final. This can actually work against their entry, with other countries feeling sour about giving them votes, or it might just be that their songs aren't all that good. (The UK entries for 2024 and 2025 both received no points from the public vote, although the juries brought them out of last place). Spain are no strangers to Eurovision controversy - they have two of only three non-winning entries who have been allowed to perform a second time. In 1990 the orchestra and backing track began the song out of synch, causing the singers to miss their cue, and in 2010 their performance was interrupted by a chap named Jimmy Jump known for pitch invasions and disruption of other entertainment events in order to show Catalan support. 

One of these people was not part of the act, although it made no more or less sense of the song.

Eurovision 2026 - Just the Songs

I know we all know that Eurovision is all about the staging and the politics and the personalities and the drinking games, but let's imagine just for a moment that it is actually a song competition and purely about the songs themselves. In that vein, I listened to them all without pictures (moving or otherwise), or without knowing which country they were representing, and this is my honest commentary on what I heard (in the order in which they appear on the official Eurovision Song Contest 2026 playlist).

Viva Moldova!

1. Dara - Bangaranga: I don't think they're referring to sexual relations with ginger-haired folk; it's got house beats, changes in tempo and a female-Prodigy energy. 
2. Felicia - My System: Kylie Minogue meets The Pet Shop Boys in this disco rave beats banger. Sample lyric: "You're in my head, my heart, my body parts; I can't get you out of my system."
3. Soren Torpegaard Lund - For Vi Gar Hjem: The pretty, boring ballad with the obvious chord progression, which will probably live rent free in the head.
4. Linda Lampenius, Pete Parkkonen - Leikinheitin: It's way too busy, but I like the violins.
5. Antigone - Jalla: More dancing and exhortation to hear the beat of the drum, shake your hips, dance on the table and get lost in the rhythm (or something like that). There's a smattering of ethnic styling and I imagine up-tempo belly dancing.
6. Sarah Engels - Fire: Is this Cyprus trying to be Destiny's Child complete with the earthy growl/ grunt ting and lyrics such as 'Boy, I'm out of your league.' There will doubtless be accompanying hair flicking and gratuitous crotch flashing.
7. Alexandra Capitanescu - Choke Me: Are you f*^king kidding me? It's probably supposed to be empowering and dark emo and all that, with a touch of Shakespeare's Sister-lite odd trills and screams, but the sub-dom lyrics are deeply unpleasant. 'All I need is your love. I want you to choke me.'
8. Satoshi - Viva, Moldova!: They clearly don't want to win the competition with this song - they haven't even got the budget for lyrics or tune. With ethnic instruments and unmelodic chanting, this had better have fun staging.
9. Akylas - Ferto: I'd dance to this down the clerb. Did he mention rally cars? It's got limited lyrics, but it feels pretty inclusive. I hope they have a gimmicky dance.
10. Jonas Lovv - Ya Ya Ya: It's got guts, broken bones (lyrically speaking) and an Arctic Monkeys/ White Stripes vibe, so I really like it but it won't get to the final. I'm also terrible at predicting these things so it may go on and win this thing. Or neither.
11. Sal da Vinci - Per sempre si: Sounds like a 1980s-style holiday music; there's probably one of those awful choreographed YMCA-type dances associated with it.
12. Monroe - Regarde!: This is outstandingly Fench hitting soaring operatic vocal highs and completing the gamut down to the spoken word. One could say Le chanson va partous. 
13. Veronica Fusaro - Alice: I really like this Amy Winehouse-style offering.



Eclipse by Delta Goodrem

14. Delta Goodrem - Eclipse: Obviously I know this is the Australian entry because I live here, and not under a rock. It's a strong commercial Euro-pop ballad with simple chords, mentions of astronomical love and those shouty vocals they seem to favour, plus she has an international profile since her Neighbours days, so it is perhaps in with a chance, although I question the lyric, 'We've only just begun'. I would say, it's been 11 years, Australia; you've had your fun; time to give it a rest now.
15. Cosmo - Tanzschein: This fills the dull dance number slot. 
16. Noam Bettan - Michelle: Ma Belle it is not, although the heartfelt sincerity is almost unbearable. Apparently this is Israel's representative so the crowd will hate it but it will mysteriously get lots of votes.
17. Lelek - Andromeda: Great vocal harmonies create a wall of sound combining traditional ethno and modern pop.
18. Essyla - Dancing on the Ice: Has Justin Trousersnake got a sister, because that's what this sounds like. 
19. Eva Marija - Mother Nature: I could have sworn that was Regina Spektor. It's quite clever with an appealing arrangement including some violin string plucking. They sing in English and sound pretty cute, so I'm guessing this is Luxembourg.
20. Bzikebi - On Replay: Typical bland boring Euro fare.
21. Tamara Zivkovic - Nova Zora: Military opera with a Euro beat and a voice changer. My printer was making weird noises, or was it the song?
22. Alis - Nan: A touch military and builds with good backing vocals but a fairly pedestrian lead and arrangement.
23. Vanilla Ninja - Too Epic to Be True: This is quite charming with an innocent Kim Wilde feel (I know a few folk who'd like that...); a disco/pop number with a fun spoken word section.



Look Mum, No Computer

24. Look Mum No Computer - Eins, Zwei, Drei: If I didn't already know this was the U.K., the piss-taking posturing nihilism and novelty-song elements with the post-modern refrain, "I'm s bored with it; what's the point of it?" No one will appreciate this disrespectful take on the contest.
25. Aidan - Bella: The highlight is the soaring James Bond-esque opening, and then there are some powerful strings but it descends into weak plinky plonky nonsense.
26. Simon - Palmoa Rumba: This is the hardcore club sound that leads to a great light show and no votes.
27. Senhit - Superstar: Not bad but not distinctive; a general disco dance tune.
28. Daniel Zizka - Crossroad: A bloke just shouting and wailing isn't music. I blame The Voice.
29. Alicja - Pray: An interesting mix of genres with some gospel energy and then some hip-hop rap.
30. Lavina - Kraj mene: The gloomy death metal number with dark sounds and screams. I like it, whihc I believe is the kiss of death.
31. Leleka - Ridnym: This is the sort of breathy tune I would expect from musical theatre, so it's fine if you like that sort of thing. I don't. A note on the high pitch squealing: just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
32. Lion Ceccah - Solo Quiero Mas: This one is the Euro filler; time to put the kettle on. 
33. Atvara - Ena: This means something to someone; it seems incredibly earnest with sudden spikes and heaps of emotion. I like the piano and the backing vocals. 
34. Bandidos do Cante - Rosa: It's quite bad when it strats out a cappella, and then the ethnic strings join in and it gets even worse. This might have done quite well in 1976. I think we've moved on. I hope we have, anyway. 
35. Jiva - Just Go: Imagine I Will Survive at half tempo. You're strong, well done, we get it, get off.

Alicja 

Friday Five: Theatre and Comedy

The cast in Never Closer: from left, Breanna Kelly, Natasha Lyall, Pippin Carroll, Joel Hrbek and Emily O'Mahoney

1. Never Closer - Off the Ledge Theatre, The Courtyard Studio: This is a solid play set in Northern Ireland during the Troubles when a friendship group is on the brink of exploring a wider world, and again ten years later when they reconnect for Christmas Eve as they always used to do, except this time one of them brings along their fiancé, and he's English. Director Lachlan Houen has assembled a great ensemble of actors with whom he clearly works well. He is bold in his directing choices, although this occasionally misses the mark, and there are some issues of pace where actors hit one note and stay there. Emily O'Mahoney as Deirdre is the only one with a credible Northen Ireland accent, although she wrings every ounce of bitterness out of her position as the one left behind who feels she has to martyr herself with folded arms and closed off physicality. Joel Hrbek is cute in the role of Jimmy - reassuring in his presence and warmth - whereas Nick Bisa plays the polar opposite, Conor, with monochromatic rage. Although Niamh, has arguably made the biggest change (in going to England and embracing the life and culture across the Irish Sea) she is possibly the least developed character of the play and consequently Natasha Lyall plays her with even delivery that is perhaps a little too measured. Breanna Kelly brings energy and sincerity to the role of Mary, in exactly the same way that she did to her character in You Tell My Mum I'm Dead, the previous production in which I saw her here, and I'd like to see something else. Pippin Carrol is sublime in the role of Harry, the odd one out, and for every English person who has ever been blamed for their government's choices, I feel your pain! The set design (Lachlan Houen, Sophie Hope-White, Liah Naidoo, Anna Lorenz) is appropriately busy, signifying the hoarding elements of an ancestral home without being cluttered, and while the ambient sound (Marlene Radice) enhances the production, the blast of the bomb needs to be a lot louder. Sight-lines are compromised whenever a character sits on the floor, and the costumes are not era-appropriate. The play makes me question who gets to tell whose story? This is an Australian playwright writing about an extremely sensitive Irish/ British experience produced by an Australian team in Canberra, and it just feels slightly off.
2. The Taming of the Shrew - Lakespeare, Belconnen Arts Centre: Director Karen Vickery has created the staging for outdoor performances but I saw it indoors (because I get annoyed by distractions), and it worked very well there too with the lakeland backdrop. The world created is big, bold, comic and colourful with grand gestures and gags, while costumes (Helen Wotja) and millinery (Rachel Henson) are extravagant and coordinated to households to help identity - the hats are a particular delight. Voices are generally loud and clear without shouting or straining, and all the action is through words and deeds rather than props (with the admirable exception of hobby horses) or set. There are four entrances on the diagonal, allowing cast to appear from multiple angles, and the only concession to set is a table for height (or hiding beneath). The gender switching works well, removing the violence, misogyny and general 'ick' often found in this play, replaced with a more playful rough and tumble. Ylaria Rogers is excellent and expressive as Petruchia, and when she catches Michael Cooper's arm as he goes to hit her in his role of  Christopher/ Kit and states calmly and firmly, 'do not strike me', it feels powerful and statesman-like. Cooper, meanwhile, is sulky and petulant as Kit rather than aggressive and spiteful, and he elicits sympathy instead of censure for his behaviour. When pretending to be someone else, the characters drop nods and winks as they add a skirt or a sash, with Anneke van der Velde Trania ('disguised' as Lucentia) being particularly good at this deception, engaging with the audience where others have some fear of eye contact. Always a joy to watch, Yanina Clifton takes both fun and weariness in being Grumia, the clown, who is very much the bridge between the actors' world of wealth and privilege and us, the normal folk.

3. Shakespeare in Love - Mockingbird Theatre, The Rehearsal Room: The play by Lee Hall is adapted from the film by Marc Norman and Tom Stoppard which we all loved thirty (yes, thirty) years ago. If you're thinking sumptuous costumes, swooning chemistry and delectable staging, think again. Director Chris Baldock has taken on an ambitious project to fit all the actors on stage - there are 23 of them in all - and the result is messy (and I've seen the dressing room, which must have been even more crowded). There is a greatly varied standard of acting from experienced senior actors to students from Mockingbird acting classes. Tom Cullen displays a range of emotion as Shakespeare and is adept at dialogue and supporting his scene partners. Unfortunately, although Asha Forno looks the part of Viola de Lesseps, she hasn't got the necessary gravitas and presence; similarly James Phillips as Christopher (Kit) Marlowe lacks the swagger and charisma demanded of the role. Liz St Clair Long revels in the regality and narcissism of Queen Elizabeth, whereas Bruce Hardie as Lord Wessex is underused and looks uncomfortable being there, as if he has tried his best but given up with some the more self-indulgent cast members. Sian Harrington stands out as the Nurse, Sachin Nayak as Lord Edmund Tilney gives a strong and grounding performance, and Rob Karlen enjoys dressing up and playing the foolish pretend nurse. Many of the witty one-liners and Shakespearean allusions are discarded without due consideration. It's hard to do comedy well, and this production merely highlights just how hard that can be. It may be a brave attempt but it falls short of the high standards set by Mockingbird and ultimately disappoints.
4. Emma Holland: The Dog Dies at the Start - The Street Presents Canberra Comedy Festival, Street One: Don't say you weren't warned; the trigger warning is in the title. This is almost a one-act play rather than a comedy routine, and Emma Holland rearranges the sparse set to make it larger and smaller as one feels when mourning the death of a pet. Using visual aids such as a screen and a clicker, she builds a world of her domestic circumstances, frquently having a laugh at her long-suffering mother's expense. The show explores the nature of grief in both a humorous and heartfelt way. Holland has a charming rapport with the audience, and she rambles and weaves the narrative on an extremely circuitous and deceptive route before concluding with a satisfactory ending like a true shaggy dog story should.
5. Lloyd Langford: Okay, I Believe You - Canberra Comedy Festival, The Playhouse: Lloyd's laconic style is belied by his mischievous eyes, wicked grin and the sense that he never takes himself too seriously. It may seem effortless to string a series of unrelated anecdotes and observations together, but he handles them with precision timing, apart from one instance when he is disturbed by a random snort (potentially laughter) from the audience. Some young drunken types found his accent pants-wettingly hilarious, which manifested in inane shrieks and performative outbursts at innocuous words like Hobart or dragon. Yep, he's Welsh, get over it. That aside, it's a joy to listen to a man at the top of his game riff on subjects as varied as Katy Perry, picking fights in playgrounds and cafes, and his mistrust of the cloud (he envisages it as the sickly-scented fumes left behind by an adolescent vaper, so that's unsurprising). His wife and daughter feature as topics in his show, not in any mawkish manner but in an entirely natural, they're-just-a-big-part-of-my-life sort of way. And there are lots of amusing moments in life, if we only stop to look for them. 
6. Melanie Bracewell: Dilly Dallying - Canberra Comedy Festival, Canberra Theatre Centre: Another comedy show without a theme is almost a theme in itself, especially when it is so well orchestrated. Melanie Bracewell is not so much a raconteur as that entertaining friend down the pub who fills their stories with colourful detail. Over the course of a meandering hour or so, she tells us about her recent engagement, by way of her previous boyfriends (the Four Fuckboys of the Apocalypse) and her fight with the neighbours over who has the best bin. She lets us know that this is the first stop on the tour, and she makes no aplogies for having her notes on stage. In fact, we seem to be taken into her confidence and feel like we may play some part in shaping the show, although by the end when the threads are all as neatly tied as a pair of shoelaces (you'll have to see the performance to see why that analogy works), it is clear that she was pulling the strings all along.