Friday Five: Books Read in January

The Secrets She Keeps by Michael Robotham (Sphere) - Male authors seem to think that all women want babies and will do anything to have them. Apparently, baby fever drives us crazy, which must be comforting for them to think that it isn't their oppressive patriarchal behaviour which has this effect. Meghan has a baby and Agatha wants it, so she befriends her to steal it (not a plot spoiler because it's obvious from the cover design). Despite being from supposedly different cultural backgrounds and socio-economic circumstances, the two women are written interchangeably in the first person, and its fortunate that each alternate chapter is introduced by their name or there would be no distinction between the two. Apart from the fact that one has a baby and one doesn't. Because, lest we forget, it is motherhood, or lack thereof, that defines the status of women. One of the characters, let's call her Megatha, literally says, "I am not a real woman because I cannot have a baby." Tedious. 

Hamnet by Maggie O'Farrell (Tinder Press) - Maggie O'Farrell has written a story about grief at the death of a chid. That's a tricky subject and one she addresses well. She has made the child the son of William Shakespeare, although her refusal to name him as such and refer to him as the playwright in London or the Latin tutor or the son of a glove-maker seems peverse and artificial. There are wildly overblown sections of prose as she tries to talk about Shakespeare without talking about Shakespeare, including descriptions of the layout of the home of his birthplace, the attitude to ghostly figures, the very essence of iambic pentamter. The novel includes several quotes and themes from Shakespeare's plays and is written in the present tense, which becomes cloying as many things are revealed that are obvious with contemporary hindsight. In trying to diminish William Shakespeare and elevate Anne (called Agnes here) Hathaway, Maggie O'Farrell has done a diservice to both them and us in what feels like little more than fan fiction.

We Solve Murders by Richard Osman (Penguin) - Richard Osman created the wildly popular Thursday Murder Club, and now he has published a standalone novel, We Solve Murders, which looks perfectly set to be the beginning of a new series. The main characters are Amy Wheeler, an assassin/ private security officer to billionaires and her father-in-law, Steve Wheeler, who used to be in the business but now likes spending time with his cat, Trouble, and his quiz team down the pub. It is a fast-paced thriller packed with guns and humour. Influencers are being murdered in a spat between money launderers, but no one really cares about influencers because they are so shallow, until we meet Bonnie Gregor, one with a family and a conscience. Amy is meant to be protecting famous author, Rosie D’Antonio who loves flirting – with danger and men – as they encounter lots of action in multiple locations. There is a cast of hundreds and it’s quite hard to keep track of who is whom. It doesn’t really matter though, as the action, locations and opportunity for cameo roles all combine to make this novel a dying-to-be-made-into-a-film script, with actors queuing up to play the characters. It’s a very decent book with a central character who talks to his dead wife while sitting on a small bench by a quiet pond and is trying to come to terms with his grief and her absence.

Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan (Faber) - There is so much weight in such a small book (114 pages) as Claire Keegan questions, what is decency and humaity? "Was there any point in being alive without helping one another?" Bill Furlong is a coal and timber merchant trying to do the best he can for his family in a small, rural Irish town where half the population is emigrating. The Catholic Church dominates the village, the schools and the workforce, and folk turn a blind eye to some of their more insidious practices, such as the Magdalen laundries. With a solid nod to Dickens' A Christmas Carol, Bill has his eyes forced opened just before Christmas, and he has to make a decision rather than merely going with the flow. The language is exquisite as it settles into natural rhythms and their inevitable outcomes, with a beautiful Irish tilt. "So many things had a way of looking finer, when they were not so close. He could not say which he rathered: the sight of the town or its reflection on the water." In this instance less is definitely more.

Everyone Knows Tipping Point: We Solve Murders

We Solve Murders by Richard Osman

Penguin

Pp.438 

Richard Osman created the wildly popular Thursday Murder Club, and now he has published a standalone novel, We Solve Murders, which looks perfectly set to be the beginning of a new series. The main characters are Amy Wheeler, an assassin/ private security officer to billionaires and her father-in-law, Steve Wheeler, who used to be in the business but now likes spending time with his cat, Trouble, and his quiz team down the pub. “Steve Wheeler still reads about murder, of course he does. Just as a retired centre-forward still looks at the football scores on a Saturday afternoon. Takes a professional interest, with his feet up.” Amy’s husband, Adam, is mostly absent.

 

It is a fast-paced thriller packed with guns and humour. Influencers are being murdered in a spat between money launderers, but no one really cares about influencers because they are so shallow, until we meet Bonnie Gregor, one with a family and a conscience. Amy is meant to be protecting famous author, Rosie D’Antonio who loves flirting – with danger and men – as they encounter lots of action in multiple locations. The New Forest; South Carolina; Dubai; St Lucia; County Cork. “Amy has been in mortal danger in many countries over the last few years, but St Lucia has to be one of the most beautiful.”

 

There is a cast of hundreds – François Loubet; Henk van Veen; Jeff Nolan; Susan Knox; Max Highfield; Felicity Woollaston; Jo Blow; Andrew Fairbanks; Bella Snachez; Mark Gooch; Gary Gough; Tony Taylor; Rob Kenna; Mickey Moody; Vasily Karpin; Eddie Flood; Carlos Moss; Kevin the ex-Navy SEAL – and it’s quite hard to keep track of who is whom. It doesn’t really matter though, as the action, locations and opportunity for cameo roles all combine to make this novel a dying-to-be-made-into-a-film script, with actors queuing up to play the characters. I read recently about a woman who said she thought being an assassin was a reasonable career due to the number of TV shows, books and films about them. “Needs must, and murder’s not so difficult. Wear gloves, and don’t drive the getaway car too fast.”

 

Pedantry provides humour, such as when Rosie asks Henk if he has proof “in that little envelope of yours?” He replies that is “not a little envelope, it is an A4,… and yes, I have proof in this normal-sized envelope.” A character quotes Eric Cantona, revealing the aimed-at demographic, while another ruminates on property prices. “If he was moving to the village today, he wouldn’t be able to afford it. The only way anyone can afford to buy a house these days is to have bought it fifteen years ago.” There is an allusion to modern social interaction as François Loubet sends emails via Chat GPT in the style of “a friendly English gentleman”. “Most communication is by message or email. High-end criminals are much like millennials in that way.” Meanwhile, another character is obsessed with road routes.

 

“The journey had been a pleasant surprise, if Tony Taylor is honest. The A31 turned out to be clear as a bell – couldn’t believe his luck there. M27, no major problems. The traffic backed up around Junction 2 of the M3 – but when doesn’t it? The usual fun and games on the M25, but then clear from Junction 9 all the way to Letchworth Garden City. So, all in all, Tony couldn’t complain. Should have taken two hours and twenty-three minutes, actually took two hours and fifteen minutes.”

 

It may ostensibly be about Amy, but Richard Osman proves he relates more to middle-aged men than he does to young women. Steve knows crisp flavours, road routes and daytime TV. “Sometimes Steve wonders what world Amy is living in. Everyone knows Tipping Point.” Even when Steve loses his cool with Henk, he does so with self-deprecation. “I’ve put my priorities on hold for a number of days now. I’ve been tied up, I’ve been threatened with a gun, I’ve been in a helicopter, and I’ve eaten kale.” Steve is spoiled, however, by having flown on a private jet. “This private jet – it’s a Learjet – is slightly smaller than the ones he has become used to in the last week and he is feeling a little cramped. He’s also just found out there is no private chef, and he had really been looking forward to a bacon sandwich. So, just as cat food has been ruined for Trouble [after the cat ate leftover roast chicken], so air travel has forever been ruined for Steve.”

It’s a very decent book with a central character who talks to his dead wife while sitting on a small bench by a quiet pond and is trying to come to terms with his grief and her absence. “Steve has learnt you must never resent other people for their happiness. Everyone is taking the best shot they’ve got and some shots are just luckier than yours. Any time you feel your unhappiness turning into bitterness, you have to check yourself. You can live with unhappiness, but bitterness will kill you.” Steve is a character who could be played by someone like Jim Broadbent or Hugh Bonneville, and he will certainly make more appearances in future with his new detective partnership with Amy (and possibly, Rosie): We Solve Murders.