Quick Quintet: Actual Conversations

There used to be a time when you could have endless pointless debates in the pub about anything at all - when did Ziggy Stardust take his final bow; who scored the winning goal in the FA Cup Final of 1957; in how many films did Doris Day star with Rock Hudson; you know the sort of thing.

Now, if you ruminate on any sort of question of this nature, someone will irritatingly whip out their smart phone and tell you the answer. Okay, so it may be smart, (or smug) but it ruins all the fun - at least you should waste a good half hour discussing it first. 

This is why they may be good for virtually anything, but smart phones are the death of (pub) conversation. In the last week or so, I have whiled away many pleasant minutes (if not hours) with the family deliberating such pressing issues as:

5 Recent Conversations which didn't involve a Smart Phone:

1. Does what goes up always have to come down?
2. If fish spoke English, which species would have what accent?
3. Why is some 80s music shockingly bad when some is excellent, and why do Americans and Kiwis generally prefer the former?
4. When does attractive confidence become ugly arrogance?
5. If you could live in any era in history, when would it be?

Quick Quintet: Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick

Today is my birthday - yes, I know, Happy Birthday to me. While I have nothing against the song Happy Birthday, I wish there were more songs that people could sing to expreess their many happy returns: Stevie Wonders' Happy Birthday is specifically about Martin Luther King; no one knows the lyrics to Altered Images' merry ditty; and the Sugarcubes' Birthday is just plain bonkers.



So invariably it will be the predictable tune. When Thermal Girl and I were in recorder club at the infants' school, we were tasked with performing Happy Birthday on our squeaky tubes for one of the younger members of the school. Unfortunately we hadn't learned that tune, but we did know London's Burning so we spontaneously burst into that instead... as the confused birthday girl simultaneously burst into tears and poured on her own water.

Which led me to think about the most predictable songs ever - you know; when you're at a particular event and you know for certain that a certain song will be played.

5 Predictable Tunes:

1. We Are the Champions / Simply the Best - played at the final of any sporting event
2. Slice of Heaven / Why Does Love Do This to Me? / Bliss - godawful lyrically-challenged Kiwi pop songs played at every New Zealand sporting event ever - it's enough to put you off going
3. Dancing Queen - there's not a hen night in the land where this isn't played
4. From This Moment - the most manipulatively mercenary wedding song ever written
5. I Don't Know How to Love Him - at any musical theatre audition. I recently read this in Painting Ruby Tuesday by Jane Yardley: The first morning we heard the same song from Jesus Christ Superstar so many times that when we broke for lunch the casting director shouted, ‘If anyone in this room does know how to love him, for Chrissake get out there and tell ’em before I top myself!’

Quick Quintet: Aunty Katy

I have been visitng my brother and sister-in-law and niece and nephew in Miri. We have had a great time experiencing their ex-pat lifestyle and some Miri hotspots (at 40 degrees and 98% humidity, it's actually all pretty hot) and, although excited about the prospect of seeing monkeys in the rainforest, were a little sad to leave them behind and move on to the next stage of the trip.

5 Great Things about Being an Aunt:

1. Fierce unconditional hugs
2. Information sharing and seeing things from a fresh perspective (snakes can be very pretty, apparently)
3. Surreal artwork
4. Story-time
5. Giving them back

Quick Quintet: Lazy Sunday

5 Things I Like to do on a Sunday Morning:

1. Sleep in/ cuddle
2. Read the Sunday newspapers
3. Go for a walk
4. Go out for coffee/ brunch
5. Speak to family members on the phone

Saddly, this isn't me, but you get the picture, as it were

Quick Quintet: After the Rain

5 Things I Like About the Rain:

1. The sound it makes as it drums on the roof - as long as I am warm and dry inside
2. The fact that it gives you an excuse not to do a fat lot
3. The smell of the wet earth after the rain has stopped
4. The way it helps plants and flowers to grow
5. The wildlife that comes out to play in the puddles

Quick Quintet: We Go Together...

5 Top Colour Combinations:

1. Red and white - it works for Liverpool FC, England, Father Christmas and me!
2. Purple and green - designer types may call them aubergine and avocado, but whatever it's called, they just look good together
3. Blue and yellow - sun, sky, sand, sea - it's a winning holiday combination
4. Orange and yellow - spices in the bazaar; tantalising
5. Black and gold - Greek vases and boxes of chocolates

Quick Quintet: Tastes Like Chicken

Whenever people eat something a bit different - frogs' legs; snake; crocodile; squirrel - they invariably say, 'it tastes a bit like chicken'. This is probably because chicken is such a versatile meat that it can actually taste like almost anything itself, even squirrel. I like chicken - yes, free range organic and all that, and it goes very well in a variety of dishes.

5 Great Chicken Dishes:

1. Roast chicken - with roast potatoes and fresh green vegetables, or in fresh white bread sandwiches with lashings of mayonnaise
2. Lemon chicken - the Chinese restaurant in Marlow High Street was my introduction to this particular favourite
3. Kadai chicken - a perennial winner at Indian restaurants worldwide
4. Chicken Pad Thai - the benchmark of a good Thai restaurant, and usually a perfect serving size to leave you replete but not stuffed
5. Chicken Mee Goreng - one of the best hangover cures ever