Beervana 2011: Part Two

Now that's what I call real ale

Ta-Iti (Peak Brewery, 4%) - Now, that's a real ale! Low-carbonated hand-pulled tastiness.


Stu-dious drinking

Best Bitter (Cassels & Sons Brewing, 4.3%) - Surprisingly grassy and lemony for a bitter - if this were a wine it would be sauvignon, and it's not that far off as a beer, either. The tasting notes include the words 'gooseberry' and 'zesty', which isn't really what I'm after in a beer.

Hop Hog (Feral Brewing, 5.8%) - An American IPA that boasts a look of golden oranges and a smell of citrus pine needles. This tastes a lot better than it sounds and makes a refreshing drop. It's a quirky little Festival number - a short story in a glass.

Fat Yak (Matilda Bay Brewing Company, 4.7%) - Another American Pale Ale made in Australia, resulting in a malty fruity mix. I could taste cinammon and cloves but in more of an apple pie than a wheat beer sort of a way.

More random comments from discerning drinkers - "I'm impressed with the Australian beers; they seem to be smoother and more subtle - not a word I usually associate with Australians"; "Extremely bitter on the tongue and into the aftertaste, drowns out any other flavours" (Dusty Gringo, Deep Creek, 6.8%); "Drink more water!"; "Seriously, try the Boris - this is my third; it's brilliant!" (Boris, Feral Brewing, 11.5%)


Pretending we know what we're talking about



It's got a good nose, apparently

The Crown Prince (Ad Lib Brewing Co, 5%) - spiced pumpkin ale. Interesting. It really is bright orange, but it's got a delicate flavour, and is sweet and dry with lots of body. This is a fabulously intriguing beer of contradictions - a surprising favourite of the night.

South Island Pale Ale (Golden Eagle Brewery, 5.5%) - hoppy and malty, darker than the others and quite bitter. I would like to drink more of this, but have never see it anywhere.

Black Emperor (Golden Ticket Brewing, 4.6%) - I decided to move to the dark side but didn't want anything too strong just yet so thought this scharzbier would be a good choice. And I was right - bitter and black with very little sweetness - probably not for everybody but I enjoyed it.

Bennett's Classic Black (Bennett's Beers, 5%) - I've had this before but I knew I liked it - like a cold alcoholic coffee. I was trying to get some of the Garage Project's Manuka Dark, but there wasn't any, and the person behind the Wellington bar was short on advice and information.


Welcome to the dark side!

 iStout (8-Wired, 10%) - Imperial Stout that is creamy tasting without being actually creamy. It is black and tasty; those long imperial nights must just fly by with chocolate, malt, coffee and this.

Random comment update - "I am most impressed by the Aussies - I have to drag myself away from their stall"; "Good. Mmmm. Very good." (Old House ESB, Townshend Brewing Company, 5.3%); "Very deep, dark, smooth chocolate taste, recommended by J.C." (Doppelbock, Sprig & Fern, 8%); "A bit of liquorice - like a muddy puddle but without the grit" (Festivus 2011, 8-Wired, 7%); "Bugger, they've run out of Boris. What shall I do now?" (Boris, Feral Brewing, 11.5%)

RSB (The Emerson Brewing Company Limited, 5.2%) - An amber, fruity bitter. This is definitely a session beer, with a strong berry flavour, like a fruity cough medicine or a strawberry chupa chup.

 Black Bruge (Sprig & Fern, 5.4%) - created as a festive brew, I'd like to try this again. It was drinkable and I thought it tasted a bit like cake with a warm spicy flavour - more cakes and ale, please. I think I may have had too many other similar, because I found the taste didn;t stand out as much as it might.

 Black Op (The Emerson Brewing Company Limited, 8%) - Nice and tasty, piney and lovely. I enjoyed this very much - a wonderful end to a perfect evening.

mike's Imperial Porter (mike's Organic Brewery, 8%) - ooh, I liked this. It was full of yummy black goodness. Another one that I would drink again. That probably doesn't narrow it down too much, does it?


The Two Marks - like The Two Ronnies, but different

It's hard to compare different styles, and obviously there was a lot of the dark stuff - which I happen to like. I wasn't exactly conducting a scientific experiment or anything, but my top three would have to be Black Op, iStout, The Crown Prince, Ta-Iti, Fat Yak. Oops. That's five, isn't it? Oh well, it was a big night!

Beervana 2011: Part One



Gathering on the Westpac Stadium concourse

As we entered the Westpac Stadium, Weevil was asked to show ID and then given a red bracelet to wear. She thought it might be so she could go down the hydroslide, but was told it was so she wouldn't get asked again. Being as she's over twice the legal drinking age, she thought it unlikely she would be, so refused to wear the bracelet. Him Outdoors thought it was very amusing - I was not so amused, as no one asked me!

We exchanged our hard-earned cash for beer tokens - I like this concept. The tokens looked like play money we had as kids and indeed, we had fun with them as adults. Our wrist-bands confirmed that we were 'licensed to drink responsibly' and so we did. The glasses held 200ml and the tastings were approx half a glass so there was enough to gauge the flavour without getting smashed. Although you could have full glasses if you wished, I stuck to the tasting size all night so I could sample as many as possible.

The atmosphere in the concourse of the stadium isn't exactly convivial and doesn't lend itself to a relaxed evening of drinking and talking. Many people were wandering about looking for somewhere to sit and the lack of cloakroom facilities was annoying - it's very hard to take notes (let alone photographs) while standing up and clutching a bag and coat.



Stu Yeastie proudly displaying his wares

I wasn't particularly impressed with the layout either. Although you could occasionally spot a brewer if you knew whom to look for, brewers weren't necessarily serving the beer so you couldn't ask them about their products as you have been able to in previous years. The pump handles didn't display the breweries' emblems but just had hand-written signs so it was difficult to tell what was available - some beers were 'saved' for later in the session due to a limited number of pumps.

The beers were divided by region, so one bar sold 'The North' while others were 'Central', 'Top of the South', 'Canterbury', or 'Southern'. The Australians were out in force and Wellington had its own bar selling Bennett's, Garage Project (although none was on at the session I attended), Tuatara, and Yeastie Boys, amongst others. There were 'style bars' such as a real ale bar, a cider bar, and one for festive brews - the theme of this year was 'let's go... Black', which apparently "pays homage to a certain sporting event taking over New Zealand this year."


The Southern boys and girls look thrilled to be here

Mash-Up (NZ Craft Beer TV, 6%) - I have heard a lot about this beer through a pretty astute advertising campaign. It's an interesting experiment, blending elements from 44 craft breweries around the country to create a 'sample' NZ beer of the moment. They say you can't please all of the people all of the time, and I don't know who is pleased with this, but it isn't me. I found it to be a bit dry, a bit hoppy, slightly citrusy and a touch too fizzy; neither one thing nor the other. Although this was only my first beer of the night, I knew it wouldn't be my favourite. Keep it in the lab.


Him Outdoors appears to be enjoying something

Cock and Bull Common Beer (Steam Brewing Company, 4.5%) - I liked the name. Honestly, with a list of over 200 beers to choose from, it's a bit like picking a horse. I liked the beer too, which is clearly a bonus. It was a golden coppery session-style brew. The tasting notes suggested you'd be able to smell mint. 'What a load of bollocks' I thought, but I stand corrected. I definitely got a whiff of minty goodness - perhaps the first breath-freshening beer? It was like a Goldilocks beer - not too bitter; not too sweet; just right.

Minimus (Hallertau, 3.7%) - a breakfast pale ale, apparently, and why not? I've heard of people putting champagne on their cornflakes; why not a dry, bitter, hoppy drop to kickstart you with your porridge? Okay, time to move on from the Goldilocks theme...

Manuka Magic (Naturale, 4.6%) - I thought I would try something different (the tasting notes proclaimed this was 'unique, adventurous, delicious'). I noted that it was floral and inoffensive. Unfortunately, while trying to juggle my coat, notebook and wallet, I spilt half of it all over the floor (hence the earlier gripe), but didn't like it enough at first sip to need to return for more.


Some of the random commentators. And I mean random.

Random comments from fellow drinkers - "It's a bit rough at the end but it went straight down my spine" (Porter Noir, Hallertau, 6.6%); "It's a bit heavy, but it's not wee heavy" (Tuatara XI, 10.5%); "Have you tried the Boris? It's bonkers!" (Boris, Feral Brewing, 11.5%) "Isn't that Fabio Capello?" (No)



Some bloke who isn't Fabio Capello

Look-i-like-i: John Sargeant/ Jo Brand

I don't want to be mean (and saying a woman looks like a bloke is never kind) but I really do see a similarity between these two. It's in the nose and the wry, sarcastic, intelligent and self deprecating expression in the eyes. And the pursed lips - both the political commentator and the social comedienne always look as though they find something terribly funny but are not sure they should share the joke in case they get into trouble.


John Sargeant



Jo Brand





A night in with the boys

The boys have released another couple of dark horses from the stable, so we purchased a few from the shop (Wanaka Fine Wines) and had a little tasting session of our own.

We began with Hud-a-wa' Strong, named after a tough Scottish ancestor, apparently. It pours a rich amber colour and looks like one of the 'ales' you get in the local pub, but it tastes a lot better. The hoppy character and the tart citrus flavours are balanced by a malty warmth that matches the caramel hue - almost with a hint of butterscotch. It's sweeter than I usually like, but ultimately refreshing and satisfying.

Pot Kettle Black is actually one of my favourite New Zealand beers, and once again, it didn't disappoint. This smoky, smooth, licorice and dark chocolate flavoured drop with a dry hop finish is utterly delicious. Like a treacle toffee that doesn't stick your jaws together, it would be perfect for bonfire night, or a winter night by the fire when it's snowing outside. Who am I trying to kid; it's practically perfect any time at all.

And then in the weird and wonderful world of beer, there is Rex Attitude. The boys should be commended on an excellent experiment. I am an unashamed smokehead (as I believe lovers of the Islay malts are called) so I was as keen as anyone (if not keener - just call me Colonel Mustard) to try this one out. It's made with 'heavily-peated distilling malt' - apparently Stu Yeastie was told that 5% was probably the most he could use and still make this beer palatable. So he went with 100%, and, guess what; it's still palatable. Intriguing and frankly quite startling, but palatable. And certainly memorable.

'On the nose' (if I may be permitted to use such a term), I get TCP - very heavily. This would be a drawback if the smell didn't immediately take me back to my childhood. Smoky/peaty whiskies and dry hops also evoke pleasant memories so we are in luck. I imagine that if this were aged it could change in taste so I suppose I will just have to keep trying it and happily creating new memories. Although at 7% I suspect they may remain vague. I also fear that the overwhelming punch of this beer may prevent me from tasting anything else for a while. But I am prepared to face that fear and drink it anyway.

We'll be up at Beervana in Wellington this weekend. Hope to see you there?

Ha ha

Sometimes there is not a lot to smile about, but two things I read today made me laugh out loud. I make no apologies for my dubious sense of humour.

Thing One: Somewhere on this planet, a woman gives birth to a baby every ten minutes. She should be found and stopped.

Thing Two: Q: What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? A: Dam.

Let me feel the fibre of your fabric

We are embroiled in the great uniform debate at work. We need one. Some feel that the current one is tired and are pressing for a new tunic to wear over our day clothes. Everyone has a different opinion on style, fabric, cut and colour. As long as we haven't got to iron it and it's not yellow, I don't really care - I am not one of the few people on this planet who can wear yellow well.

We have been sent many fabric swatches in various hues of red, pink, green, grey, blue, and brown. Except they are not called by those names. Reds are chianti, havana, bullseye and ferrari. Pinks and purples range from pout and bouquet to eggplant and nightshade. Fossil, cloud, quill, homespun and mouse are shades of grey and green and all in between (apparently). Blues include splash, horizon and stormtrooper, while browns have a wide variety of hues from marmite and cigar to any number of rodents such as otter, mink and (my favourite) Mr rat.

As I mentioned a few posts ago, my friend and I used to read a lot of magazines when we were kids. From this she envisaged her dream job: inventing the names of cosmetics. I often think of that when I pick up a lipstick or eyeshadow - there is a lot of marketing involved in the name. I once bought a very expensive lipstick because it was called British Red. I love the colour for roses or post boxes but it is a bit bold for me and I have only worn it once, when I went to a Ceroc party. I currently have Porcelain Pink and Mauve Diamonds in my handbag.

You may think that you could just keep things simple by naming the primary colours and extremes of the spectrum. However, there are pitfalls here too. I was once looking at a clothing catalogue and spotted a hooded top advertised - the picture showed one girl wearing a black top and another sporting the grey version. A small caption proudly pronounced, 'also available in shite'. Is that a shade of brown then?

HP7Pt2

And so it is finished. And I am glad.

Don't get me wrong; I love Harry Potter and I really enjoyed the earlier books - getting to know the characters and the magical world of Hogwarts. This was adapted well in the first films as we were introduced to all the elements of great storytelling. The later books continued this thread, and then it all seems to have gone horribly wrong.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part One) was bearable, but I should have realised things were all going to be less like a dramatic film and more like a version of a video game when the latest instalment was advertised as HP7. Despite being intensely loyal to the franchise (I have bought all the books, been to the cinema to see all the films and own a couple of them on DVD), I have to concede that I am not the target audience.

I know this because reports of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part Two) have been overwhelmingly positive, whereas I found it all rather dull. It's the battle sequence. I hated it in the Narnia stories/ Star Wars/ The Lord of the Rings. It's good versus evil and we don't teach children about nihilism, so there is no surprise in the outcome.

This I could cope with if it didn't just all look like some CGI X-Box game. What happened to the characters? Who cares? Chuck in some shooting sparks and explosions and that will compensate for the weakest narrative arc to grace a screen in a long time. Maggie Smith still gets to do a spot of acting as Professor McGonagall, and there's a decent cameo from Kelly Macdonald as Helena Ravenclaw who helps Harry find her mother's diadem, which seems all too easy.

In fact Harry (Daniel Radcliffe), Ron (Rupert Grint) and Hermione (Emma Watson) make simple work of finding the remaining horcruxes in which Voldemort has hidden parts of his soul. Collect each token; progress to the next level. Basically, everyone else just runs around shouting at each other, leaping from action sequence to action sequence with no thought for orchestrated tempo or development - if you pause too long, the audience might realise that it's got no depth or substance to it: this is genuine cinema for the ADD generation.

The superlative characterisation in this final film belongs to Matthew Lewis as Neville Longbottom. As he stands alone in a dodgy cardy from Bury market facing the axis of evil protected only by a wand and a magic shield he rants to the ranging forces, 'You and whose army?' It's the best line of the film - trust me. His delivery is perfect as he proves his mettel by weilding the sword of Gryffindor (do you see what I did there?) to defend Harry from Nagini, Voldemort's snake and the last remaining piece of his soul. At this, Voldemort dissolves into whirling puzzle pieces, like Chris Martin in that Viva La Vida video. And no, I'm not giving anything away because it was obvious from the beginning.

Speaking of spoilers - the ending (which you will already know if you've read the books, and if you haven't then you're not a true fan so I'm not going to apologise) is appalling. Not that they all turn up as adults with their children to send them away to a boarding school where they were all three nearly killed, but by their horrifically conservative dress sense. I would have liked to see the offspring of Neville and Luna - I'll bet they at least got to wear something slightly less dull.

My problem is not that the film missed out loads from the book (most films do that - they have to cram 607 pages into a couple of hours, although in this case, they did get two films to do it in) but that it missed the essence of the film. Sure, I will miss the terrific trio, but they were actually already missing from this film.