The Princess Diarist by Carrie Fisher
(Bantam Press)
Pp. 251
This book was
published shortly before Carrie Fisher died, which gives much of it added
poignancy. It is mainly about her experience filming Star Wars; her youth and her inability to deal with unanticipated
fame; her affair with Harrison Ford; her reaction to the conventions; and her
irritation at being expected to still look the same now as she did then. The
book is not particularly well-written, but it is honest and candid – the inclusion
of her diaries and poetry written during the filming of Star Wars is a brave move – and ultimately very readable.
No one was prepared
for the reception that Star Wars
would receive. Her life was changed forever by the film refused to remain on
screen. She was defined by one character with whom she has a love/hate
relationship. “I had never been Princess Leia before and now I would be her
forever. I would never not be Princess Leia. I had no idea how profoundly true
that was and how long forever was.”
She writes with attempted nonchalance
and sangfroid and is candid about her own drug addiction. Her style is
deliberately self-effacing and jocular in tone, and although she presents her
thoughts as raw and elemental, she has clearly polished the words into something
she imagines is witty. There are a few insights into the behind-the-scenes
goings-on during filming (such as the fact that due to her grimacing each time
she fired the laser gun, she had to take shooting lessons from the man who prepared
Robert De Niro for his role in Taxi
Driver), but film geeks will probably know all of these already.
Her renowned advocacy for gender
equality is evident and she had crippling anxiety about her looks, relating
that she got the part in Star Wars on
the proviso that she would lose ten pounds. But she also confesses she enjoyed
the one-sided nature of the film, and to loving the male attention that came
from being “the only girl in an all-boy fantasy.”
The main thing to emerge from
this book, however, is her affair with Harrison Ford. She mockingly refers to their
relationship as ‘Carrison’ and, although it comprises over half of the book,
she pretends to dismiss it; forty years afterwards, she still tries to downplay
it, which conversely gives it excessive importance. Obviously, this is
one-sided account, but Harrison Ford doesn’t present very favourably. He seems
like a predator from the first time he takes her home drunk from a cast and
crew party. She was young and naïve, and he was careless of her sensitivities and
her desperate neediness. She fixated on him like a smitten teenager.
He doesn’t talk to her, make her happy
or feel good about herself, and he exacerbates her insecurities and anxiety. It
seems that he is cold towards her, but perhaps that is just his nature? She
records in her diary, “I act like someone in a bomb shelter trying to raise
everyone’s spirits.” While it is brave to include the diaries and gauche poems,
they are excruciatingly painful to read. Every teenage girl has written self-indulgent
nonsense like this, but not always about Harrison Ford. One could argue that
she knew the situation – he was married – but she tries to manipulate the
reader into feeling sympathy for her.
She
concludes with her feelings towards the fans at Star Wars conventions, and it is clear that she is not comfortable
with the entire charade. It’s fair to say that Carrie Fisher’s relationship
with Princess Leia and Star Wars in
general, is both complex and unresolved, which is distressing as it will now
forever remain that way.