Well, it wasn’t on me because I was wearing a pocket-less outfit, so I went out the back to my handbag and rummaged around through all of the shap (combination word because I don’t think I’m allowed to put either of them individually in print) that breeds in there to spill out at embarrassing moments, and found my phone, which I then presented to said colleague expecting her to use it to send a text or do something radical like make a phone call.
She looked at it and then went to set the clock on the wall to the correct time. Actually, it was one (or possibly thirteen depending on which way you look at it) hours out because I haven’t altered it since I got back from England about a year ago.
I don’t need my phone to mark off the hours until wine o’clock, because I wear (cue gasp of incredulity from anyone under thirty) a watch! Yes, on my wrist. It has clever little hands – a big one for minutes, a little one for hours and a skinny one for seconds, and through this archaic analogue device I am able to tell the time.
Apparently very few people do these days. According to a newspaper article (so it must be true) 28% of people surveyed don’t even own a watch. Have you tried to buy a new watch-strap at the jewellers recently? It’s not easy. When I found a watch-repair outlet that sold leather watch straps I was mightily pleased – life is full of special moments.
When I asked if they were calf leather, the chap told me that they were, so I was a little nonplussed when I looked at the back to find it printed ‘genuine lizard’. Next time I need to purchase one, I probably shouldn’t be surprised to find the words ‘genuine dinosaur’.