Friday Five: Nouns that are not verbs

And the logical continuation of last week's post...

5 Nouns that are not verbs:

1. Parent - a parent is a person. A parent (hopefully) loves, nurtures, raises, cares for, looks after, educates, protects, cherishes, tends, nurses, encourages, reprimands and inspires their child. Any one of those words provides meaning and clarification. Interestingly (well, I think so anyway) - 'mother' and 'father' can act as both nouns and verbs. The verb 'mother' apparently means to bring up a child with care and affection. It can also mean to look after someone kindly and protectively, sometimes excessively so. The verb 'father' means to become the father of a child be making a woman pregnant. There seems to be an incompatibility between those words.
2. Medal/ Podium - if someone trains or works hard and has talent and aptitude, he or she may compete in events and win/ obtain/ achieve/ secure a medal. The medal in question could be gold, silver or bronze, in which case the contestant may win/ obtain/ achieve/ secure a place on the podium in first, second or third place. The person does not 'medal' or 'podium', whatever the commentators and newsreaders may say.
3. Top Score/ Red Card - another commentating misdemeanour found in many sports is the usage of 'top score' as a verb, when someone has actually scored the most points. This offence is usually committed in basketball, which is American, so what would you expect? It is worse when one hears it from cricket commentators who should know better. When a player is shown a red card in football, we used to hear that they had been sent off; nowadays they are more likely to be said to have been red carded, which used to be something that happened to wool. 
4. Friend/ Unfriend - I admit this is an interesting one as it has come about as a reaction to a specific technological development. When one sends a friend request on Facebook and is accepted, one is said to have been friended. "I'll friend you on Facebook," say young people when they are seeking cyber social interaction. After a while someone makes a snap judgement which offends the sensibilities of someone else and rather than having a rational discussion which could possibly inform and educate both parties, one 'unfriends' the other by blocking their future banal posts. Friendship is no longer a relationship to be nurtured and grown through good times and bad; it has become something which happens at the touch of a button.
5. Action - Employing the worst of business-speak, some people say they are going to 'action an item', when they mean they are going to do a thing. I presume this is because an agenda will have items that result in action points as people take on tasks. Once again, there are many words that could be used to inform others of the intention to execute/ carry out/ accomplish/ implement/ enact/ engineer/ administer/ put into practice/ perform or simply 'do'. It seems that business types don't like to use a simple word where a trendy or convoluted one will do. They think it makes them sound more important and intelligent. They should know that the exact opposite is true.

Friday Five: Verbs that are not nouns

You are invited

I know that language changes and develops and is not set in stone. I studied linguistics and etymology and I agree that language is a metaphorical rich tapestry. I love the smorgasbord of our polyglot vocabulary based on an olio of portmanteau words and phrases. I do, however, desperately dislike the way many otherwise intelligent people use words out of their correct context when there are plenty of available words they could use instead if they weren't so lazy or slavishly devoted to the current fashion of worshiping youthful inexperience and ignorance. 

I realise that as long as one can make sense of what is being said, then the aim of communication has been achieved, and that this is perfectly acceptable for someone who does not speak English as their primary language, or is a child. My point is simply: if you are fortunate enough to know how to speak properly, you should do it. Some basic abuses of the English language that will always make me judge the perpetrators are the attempt to use nouns as verbs (more of which later) and vice versa.

5 Verbs that are not nouns:

1. Invite - One invites someone to attend an event; if one is lucky, one receives an invitation to attend. I really don't understand why this is difficult to comprehend.
2. Intercept - Sporting commentators are not exactly esteemed as oracles of oratory, but they are generally responsible for this breach of grammar. When a player latches onto a pass meant for another player in football, rugby, hockey or netball, it is an interception, not 'an intercept'.
3. Build/ Rebuild - I blame Reality TV for many things as it happens, but one is the proliferation of using words out of context because the perfectly adequate word that already exists is somehow simply not cool enough. For example, when renovating or reconstructing a house, presenters and 'contestants' often refer to 'the build' or 'the rebuild' as they pull down walls and rip up floorboards.
4. Eat - I really hate this one. When people ask where they can go to get 'some eats', it takes a huge amount of restraint to refrain form telling them exactly where they can go with their 'fake language'. Do they mean meal? Do they mean food? It's almost as bad (but not quite) as adults referring to a delicious treat as 'tasty noms'. This puerile expression comes from Sesame Street's Cookie Monster. Yes, the character was cute and everything - when you were a child. Even on a programme which featured brightly coloured puppets trying to cope with the simple mechanics of life, he wasn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box. So why would any adult wish to imitate the sound he made when stuffing his face? It's not cute or endearing; it's pathetic and irritating. Stop it. 
5. Disconnect - Whenever anyone says something along the lines of 'there is a disconnect between parties', I assume they went to business school but didn't manage to graduate, and I automatically discount their opinion. Yes, I know they may have something interesting and worthwhile to say, but as there is a disconnection/ discrepancy/ divergence/ division/ dichotomy/ detachment/ breach between their thoughts and their words, I can't be bothered to listen.

A furry blue muppet with the speech ability of a three year old.

Literally Lying

Apparently a new season of X-Factor is due in Australia. I know this because a season of The Voice has just finished. Now, rather than programmes being ruined by endless previews of 'singers' popping up to stand and scream on stage, while people twitter on about them being awesome and giving them goosebumps (it would appear this is a very pimply nation) we have to endure promotions in which presenters blather on about how great it felt in the last series of X-Factor when they made their latest discovery, which they proceeded to inflict on the general public in a frenzy of unmerited hype and hoopla.

The most recent offender is some bimbette (Natalie Bassingthwaighte apparently, who used to be in Neighbours) who prattles that when she saw someone or other perform, it was so good that her jaw literally hit the floor. At last; something that would have been worth seeing!

Unfortunately, I suspect she is merely another in a long line of 'celebrities' who think that mangled grammar and excessive use of hyperbole make them sound intelligent, or even interesting. I know that language is fluid and that words assume new meanings and connotations, but 'literally' has a pretty fixed meaning, surely. I suggest you learn what it is, or try to keep the aforementioned jaw firmly shut.