Off with her head!

Mary Stuart
Circa, February 27 – April 3


In 1587 Elizabeth I of England signed the warrant that led to the death of her cousin, Mary Stuart. That much is recorded as fact; most of the rest of this three-hour intense drama is conjecture. Originally written in 1800 by Johann Christoph Fredrich von Schiller, this 2006 adaptation by David Harrower brings many of the political concerns into the contemporary climate.

Coincidentally, this show premiered at the National Theatre of Scotland, just as Black Watch had done before it came to these shores and blew audiences away at the previous New Zealand International Arts Festival. Sadly, this is not in the same class. Although the drama is good, the directing assured (Ross Jolly) and the acting fine, it is not as excellent as it needs to be to hold the attention. A lot of back-story and history is crammed into the dialogue and it needs highly-skilled practitioners to execute it well (pun entirely intended) if they are not to sound like an amateur historian at a debating society.

The times were treacherous; rumours were rife and suspicion led to death. The claustrophobic atmosphere is enhanced by a sparse set with pillars which provide peepholes to hide behind, and the edges of the stage in shadow – perfect to hatch conspiracies. The espionage, bluff and double-bluff is all conducted like a fatal game of chess where the stakes are as high as the pikes on Tower Bridge.

The play centres around the two women – Mary and Elizabeth – and pivots around an imagined meeting. Mary (Tina Retigen) is cut off from the world with no news and a Puritan guard, Sir Paulet (Nick Blake in an admirable restrained performance); ‘an honest man’ with overtones of Iago as he stands by and eavesdrops. The three central black columns and severe wooden pews that define her world are transformed through lighting (design by Ulli Briese) to a sumptuous throne or an elaborate altar as the colourscape ranges from austere light to golden glow, royal purple and blood red.

Elizabeth (Carmel McGlone) is surrounded by quarrelling men as she struggles to deal with the allegations and counter-accusations. Unsure whether to listen to her heart or her judgement, she is equally isolated. We feel her anguish as she stammers, “I don’t know what to say; I don’t know who to believe. I think you’re guilty; I hope you’re not.” The talk is of innuendo, rumour, martyrs and propaganda. Elizabeth knows that, “Public opinion will invariably side with the accused” and she feels alone: “The Pope against me; betrayed by France’s Judas kiss; and Spain wages war against me on the sea.”

The spymasters whisper in her ear and she is constantly provoked by people’s demands and entreaties. The court wants her to marry to share the burden of rule and to provide an heir to the throne, but she protests, “A ring signifies marriage and yet it is from rings that chains are made.” Robert Dudley (a wonderfully manipulative Aaron Alexander) may be her closest confidant and potential lover and yet even his questionable affections are demonstrably eleswhere. Elizabeth is finally left alone on stage in a spotlight; abandoned to her conscience and history as her judge.

While talking of imprisonment, both queens stare out longingly towards the audience – we feel that we represent freedom; we are also the jury and the electorate. Hounded to make a decision over whether Mary Stuart will live or die, Elizabeth cries, “I am my people’s slave, ruling in servitude. Is this the voice of the people? Is this the voice of all the world? What happens when they charge and condemn me?” Elizabeth is connected to the land of her people and when she beats the ground with her hands, she draws strength from it. Mary, by contrast, stamps petulantly upon it.

For one to live the other must die, and their meeting is charged with anguish. Mary kneels at Elizabeth’s feet in an outward show of passion but finds Elizabeth to be, “like a rock, harsh and unyielding”. Although she states, “I renounce all claim to this throne. Give me back my life, my liberty”, Mary taunts Elizabeth with her illegitimate birth.

The fear or Catholicism was strong and Mary makes no attempt to hide her rosary or her crucifix, “Carrying Christ in her hand as pride and lust burn in her heart.” Elizabeth worries that she is the figurehead for a French or Spanish plot to depose her, asking, “What lock can win your loyalty that cannot be unlocked by St Peter’s keys?” This was no mere theological whimsy as Elizabeth makes clear with her barbed reminder, “Your uncle taught me massacre on St Bartholomew’s Day” (when at least 10,000 French Protestants were ordered to be massacred by the Catholic mob).

A semi-circle of male advisors (well represented by different ages and characteristics) forms around them as the contretemps becomes a cat-fight with each trying to prove that she is more desirable and humiliate the other. Mary’s appeal was largely based on her looks and powers of persuasion, “Her influence on men’s minds is too strong.” She is seductive but dangerous and Elizabeth reminds her, “no one wants to be your fourth husband”.

With so few other weapons in their armoury, neither is above using her womanly wiles to get her way. Tina Retigen (as Mary Stuart) has breathing issues, often running out of breath before she finishes her sentences, and recites her lines with a self-conscious declamatory style. She says, “I can’t move so quickly from misery to hope” and it’s true that she can’t, at least not convincingly.
 

Carmel McGlone (as Elizabeth I) is far more natural in both speech and action. She looks the part with her regal bearing, tempestuous mood swings and expansive gestures. Elizabeth was famously proud of her fine hands and long fingers, and McGlone waves her arms like a tree in the wind or a spider in its web. When she signs the death warrant she exclaims, “The arrow has left the bow and flown to its mark” and her hands flutter through the air; elsewhere they are pressed together in supplication, prayer or applause.

Hands implicate personal responsibility and there is a touch of the Lady MacBeths about Elizabeth as she attempts to keep her royal hands free from the taint of blood, “Free from doubt, free from guilt, let the people choose.” When she gives the death warrant to Davison (Gavin Rutherford in fine form) she instructs him, “Take it with you; I have placed it in your hands; God’s business is in your trembling hands.” Aware of the weight of the document, Davison falls to his knees and the equivocation over the delivery of the death warrant adds an element of macabre comedy.

Although the drama is firmly focused on this specific moment in history, it has wide-reaching implications. The madrigal music that opens the play instantly transports us back to sixteenth-century England, while the closing bagpipes might be considered either an elegiac call or a triumphant procession. The costumes (designed by Gillie Coxhill) are a curious mix of mob caps and modern dress; capes and feathered hats are worn with double-breasted suits to show a blend of eras. Some of the gestures are also contemporary, such as the mocking bows and the flippant insincerity.

David Harrower’s adaptation is non-too subtle with lines such as “An Englishman will never show a Scotsman justice” getting a knowing laugh in performance. Mary’s argument is that the accused must be judged by a jury of equals, “And who are my equals?” This is a basic tenet of English law and Lord Burleigh (Jeff Kingsford-Brown with an unfathomable accent) notes, “For someone who claims not to be bound by English laws, you know a lot about them.” As do all renegades and underdogs.

Despite their warring factions, the countries have many similarities; “The narrow Tweed is all that separates us and often runs red with our soldiers’ blood.” The suggestion is made that these wars and conflicts will never end until the two parliaments are joined (which they were in 1707, but devolved nearly 300 years later in 1998). Occasionally the patriotic tub-thumping jars, especially when the characters talk of Britain – there was no Britain until the first Act of Union in 1707 which politically united the Kingdom of England (which included Wales) with the Kingdom of Scotland.

Perhaps the moral of the story is embodied in the words of Lord Shrewsbury (Eddie Campbell) who cautions “The most votes do not mean it is right. The present England is not the future England or the past England.” The inference is that rather than hankering back to historic insults, we should all just move on and stop reopening old wounds; a theory that has resonance in New Zealand politics also.

The Chorus Line

No smell of greasepaint or roar of the crowd,

Just scent of the earth and whisper of wind

As it pushes rudely past, blowing up their skirts

And they whisper indignantly as they waltz and whirl.

They wait in the wings, gaggling and chittering,

Nervously twitching and tweaking the curtain.

When they explode on stage in a riot of colourful costume

They will give the performance of their life.

The audience expects. It has been a fabulous show.

We have been spellbound by the spectacle;

We have watched them grow, their characters unfurled,

Developed and enthralled us; every one a star.

Here they come now; high kicks and pirouettes.

Copacabana. The Moulin Rouge.

Clad in scarlet, russet, vermilion and gold,

Dancing with grace, beauty and elegance.

We want to stand to applaud but it’s too hard to see.

The lights dim and suddenly there is silence.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the leaves have left the branches.

Thank you very much. They’ll be back next year.”

My newest favourite thing: Quelf

When friends were down in Queenstown the other week we went round to their house for drinks and laughter. Of course, we began by catching up on the gossip and dreams of everyone there; how some had come true and others were still distant visions. To stop things from getting serious, as they can occasionally, we played a game to keep the entertainment factor high.

We played Quelf, although not exactly as intended. I believe there is a board and dice and little characters that you can move around as you progress or take backward steps. We just used the cards in the pack and took it in turns to pick one.

Some of the cards are straight-forward true or false, or trivia questions - which are actually very easy. These are kind of the relief squares.

There is also a category called Scatterbrain which requires you to pick one of two topics and hope that not everyone in the room can think of something different under the heading (such as lipstick names or thigns that you wear on your hand) - because that means you win.

Of course, it's all about making a fool of yourself, or laughing at your friends who are doing just that. One of the categories asks you to mime, sing, act, or (my most testing of all) interpretative dance! Marching and saluting while whistling a merry martial tune was particularly difficult - it's harder than you would think to laugh and whistle at the same time.

The best category, however, is the one which gives you a bizarre rule or stunt to follow. Someone had to make their belly button talk, someone else had to laugh whenever anyone else did. At the same time someone had to slap her thighs every time someone laughed and say, 'whacka, whacka, whaka'. Her thighs were red by the end of her round - everyone was laughing so much. It doesn't sound so funny when it's written down, so you should just try it.

I had to point at people and say 'I have you now' each time I made eye contact. This led to laughter (which led to more laughter and whacked thighs). Each time someone spoke to me I had to salute and say 'Yes, sir!' or 'Yes, maam!' depending on the gender. Andra had to hold her tongue whenever she said anything. Often many of these things all happened at once, which really did lead to much hilarity.

It is the sort of game that you have to play with people who are just a little bit extroverted and not too precious about letting go - I'm sure it makes no sense when you're sober and probably isn't half as much fun. How would I know?

The Seventh Blackhurst Beer Festival (Part Two)

Beer Number Six - Arrow Brewing Co, Tobin's Ale

The Arrow Brewing Company (launched in December 2008 by five ‘craft beer enthusiasts) was as good a reason to return to Arrowtown as any. The brewery is approximately 1.3km from door to door which is particularly handy. This is a traditional English style ale with strong hop characters. I like it and have drunk a lot of it already to make my point.

Comments:

Big taste; malty; oven roasted
Time and micro-organisms were involved
Single malt
Strong hop-flavoured bitter
Bitter with lots of anti-bacterial hops – eeuuw
Aha, proper beer – pleasing maltiness; very drinkable
Amber nectar
A well-rounded little number with a beautiful amber glow
Lightly flavoured; will keep well
Bile vile; extremely bitter with malt undertones

I like this beer a lot so was personally disappointed that it only came 7th with 34 points. Oh well, I can't force people to like the beer that I do...

Beer number seven - Green Man Best Bitter (4.5%)

The Green Man Brewery in Dunedin is named after the Green Man, oddly enough; an old folk-fertility symbol, said to represent the essence of nature itself. Hedonistic and ritualistic, the pagan figure dies each year in November and is reborn on 1st May. The brewery website claims, ‘He is found in the spirit of the trees, and his presence can be felt around you, in the bush… He is in orgies on the hillside, riots in the street, the celebrations of plenty, and the privations of crop failure. He is in inebriation, orgasm, trance and possession. His eyes typically do not focus, and his image is part comforting and part worrying, like the force he represents.’ Sounds like a drunken old hippy to me – hurrah!

Brewed to strictly organic standards (with no additives, sugar or isinglass – a fish product often used to clear beer), the Best Bitter is even suitable for vegans! It is crafted after an authentic English style of ale with deep copper colour, intense hop character and lingering bitterness. The brewers boast that “Green Man Best Bitter is the taste of Olde England.” Start waving those hankies and shaking those bells!

Comments:
Celtic – aaaaargh!
Would go nice with beer
Dark mutterings
Aftershave
You Northern monkey!
Harrington’s malty something?
Malty moderate texture
Something darkish, a bit bitter and a tad malty; Speight’s Distinction?
Sweet and malty with hops
Classic beer; fresh on the front palate with a brave aftertaste

A reasonable score for this beer on the night - 43 points put it in fourth place.

Beer number eight - Tuatara India Pale Ale (5%)

The mission statement of this brewery is to “reclaim beer values”. In all their beer they insist on using traditional methods and authentic malts. They believe that craft beer is endangered and, as such, the tuatara is a fitting motif: “We relate to the little guy; he’s gone along doing things in his own deliberate patient way – and has so far outlasted all his bigger relations by quite a few million years.” Tuatara brewery has a long way to go, with only eight years of brewing, but is already building up an impressive reputation.

In 2008 Tuatara won Best Brewery at the Brew NZ Awards. They also won best IPA. The brewery is located just north of Wellington and their beers are always on tap at The Malthouse (which was our local when we lived there – can you detect a theme?). When I last saw the head brewer he had just singed off his eyebrows by experimenting with too many hops for his kiln. They must be the only brewery in the modern world not to have a website. They do their marketing by word of mouth. I like them.

Comments:
I’m at a loss for w...
Like my last wife; works well, slightly rubbery, or is that my lips?
Hoppy and a little bitter
Hopsy strong aftertaste
Bitter with lots of anti-bacterial hops – am I repeating myself?
This is the nicest one so far
A lot hoppier on the nose, handier in the hand and kind to the mind
Guess – pure guess; Celtic – wrong?

This was our silver medal beer, coming 2nd with 48 points.

The sky continued to glow as the beer continued to flow.

Beer number nine - Dux Brewing Company Nor'wester (6.5%)

I’ve forgotten many a Christchurch afternoon on this stuff. It’s a traditional strong ale that is aptly named after the strong warm winds that turns all Cantabrians just a little more mad than they already were.

It’s strong with lashings of malt, hops and fruitiness. Glengarry (the magazine of the wine and beer retailer) describes it as ‘the Michelin Man of ales’ as in ‘balanced, fully flavoured and artfully constructed.’ Not as in made of tyres and tasting of rubber, then.

Comments:
Speight’s Porter?
They are getting better
You malty wee thing
Sweet and malty
Full flavour and smooth aftertaste
This one smells nice – sweet and malty
If it were a dog it would be a spaniel
Malty stuff; almost barley wine-ish
A beautiful bitter with a well-rounded flavour and spicy aftertaste

With 56 points, this beer was a clear winner and topped our voting table. I have incidentally noticed that this happens a lot with this kind of beer - is it that it is stronger, slightly sweet, or just served near the end of the night?

Beer number ten - Renaissance Craftsman Chocolate Oatmeal Stout (4.9%)

Renaissance Brewery Co sits in the heart of Marlborough’s wine growing region (Blenheim) so it must make damn fine stuff if it’s going to compete, and it does. It’s got that fancy label thing going on as well.

Made with real cocoa beans and organic rolled oats (plus malts and other stuff that goes into beer) this stout is one way to get your oats (and your chocolate). It was the brewery’s decadent spring release and Regional Wines and Spirits (my spiritual home) voted it among their top six beers of 2009. Beer writer Kieran Haslett-Moore writes, “Craftsman is the ultimate beer for any chocolate lover packed full of spicy dark chocolate and espresso flavours and aromas with a nutty rich moderately bitter finish. Try it with red meats or a dark berry based desert.” May I recommend pie and peas anyone?

Comments:
Like being pistol whipped by a belligerent troll but worse (incidentally, the person who described it thus rated it as their second favourite beer of the night - yes, I've got some odd friends...)
Speight’s Old Dark
Old Dark, Harrington’s or Monteith’s, and slightly bitter
Long dark number
Malt and full on
Chocolate and coffee
Eeeeeeeeuuuuw! Marmite
Molasses overtones with a chocolaty finish
Match with pudding

The chocolate beer was quite a popular wee number and was voted third overall with 46 points.

So there we have it; a fine night was had by all, much beer was consumed and much nonsense was talked, which is afterall, the true purpose of such functions. The Blackhurst Beer Festival has successfully completed it's seventh year, and we are looking forward to the next one already!

The Seventh Blackhurst Beer Festival (Part One)

Last weekend, it was time again for the annual Blackhurst Beer Festival. Due to various restrictions on importing beer, excise tax and lack of decent distributors down south, we changed the format slightly this year to include ten beers from New Zealand rather than from around the world. The results were equally interesting, however.

Beer number one - Steinlager Classic (5%)

This is New Zealand’s “top-selling premium beer” and the biggest beer export. Firmly aligning itself with yachting and rugby, it is best known for its advertising. It proclaims itself as New Zealand’s finest beer, and is ‘best served cold’ (remember – flavour surfaces at room temperature). It may be considered to be a triumph of marketing over matter; the New Zealand equivalent of Budweiser.

Some people like it, however, and claim it to be a good party beer for those who don’t like microbreweries. The beer itself has a distinctly grassy note with earthy overtones of biscuit and skunk.

Comments:
Golden colour lager; easy drinking
Freshly squeezed marsupial
Sprightly, light and easy to drink on a summer’s day
Honey tones with a whisper of grass
Watery
A good bead; titillating on the palate
Racy little number

It came home in sixth palce with a total of 36 points (out of a potential 70).

Beer number two - Monteith's New Zealand Lager (5%)

Brewed especially to export to the UK where half of the Kiwi population lives in London, this lager is a rival to the other one in the clear green bottle. It’s described as a ‘spicy and slightly fruity pilsner lager with a late hop aroma and a refreshing bitterness.’

The award-winning bottle design is embossed with a silver fern, and a black and silver label features an upright shovel reflecting its roots in the gold mining period of the 1800s. Launched to the cockwis in 2007, the original annual shipment of Monteith’s New Zealand lager sold out in three months. They’re obviously homesick for some things.

Comments:
Not the same as the first
Quite flavoursome; got some bite
Bitter aftertaste
Manuka nose; sweet, smooth and light; Burmese cat wees
Smells like the cheese aisle in a French supermarket
A lovely golden hue; some honey and apricots
Hoppy as a kangaroo; improves with each sip; needs a good steak

Slightly preferred to the other lager, this garnered 38 points and was 5th overall.

Beer number three - Harrington's Lazy Summer Sunday Lager (5%)

When we arrived in New Zealand in 1996 this Christchurch brewery (which had been going for five years at the time) was our only link to real ale. Gosh, how times have changed in the thriving multicultural city. Christchurch has a few more pubs too. But I digress...

Tangelos, coriander and crushed ginger... this is a Kiwi summer lager (Monteith's Summer Ale; Speight's Summer Harvest; Mac's Sundance). You either like them or you don’t; apparently it’s beer for people who don’t like the taste of beer and is very popular among women. Harrington’s makes 20 styles of beer so there should be something for everyone; this may or may not be it.

Comments:
Summer ale
Is that flavour that’s confusing my buds ginger?
Tastes like ginger fizzy drink
Smells like the dental clinic
Fairy liquid; suitable for Biffa Bacon’s mutha
Some fruit and ginger and spices; delicious on the nose, especially when you find yourself in it face-first
Floral, fruity lager; excellent with a Thai curry

This beer was eighth on the night with a total of 29 points.

Beer number four - Mac's Great White (5%)

Mac’s version of the Belgium witbeir has the best tasting notes I’ve read so I’ll let them tell you that their beer “imparts aromas of bubblegum, banana, Turkish delight and rose petals. However, you can also obtain rhubarb and custard from the warming glass not to mention an eccentric raspberry and aniseed combination, orange peel, mandarin and a floral note from the coriander.” Sounds like it’s got bite – geddit? I’ll get my coat...

Mac’s Great White won a gold medal at the 2008 Australian International Beer Awards, which is awarded to ‘an outstanding beer that displays the correct balance of taste, aroma and appearance appropriate for the style and excellent technical merit.’ Mac’s Brewery in Wellington used to be a favourite haunt, but Lion Nathan have now moved the brewery to Christchurch and and are going down the route of those ghastly themed brewbars à la Speight’s and Monteith’s – boo, hiss.

Comments
Tastes a bit like Hoegaarden
Bottom notes of soap
No one could possibly build this beer by design
Very mild – doesn’t taste like beer
Wheat and water; don’t like it much
The Ford Sierra of beer
Clearly cloudy – oh no, that’s a contradiction in terms
Slightly sour
Not nice to the nose – Rawleigh’s ointment
Ferret’s piss no. 5
If it was a wine it would be chardonnay

Definitely not a favourite on the night, this beer came 10th with 22 points, and that was even with one person voting it their favourite - what a crazy, diverse world we live in - well, he does anyway, as you can see.

Beer number five - Emerson's Weissbier (5%)

One of Dunedin’s finest exports. Only available in summer, an especially imported Bavarian yeast strain gives this beer it’s authentic German character. Fermented in the bottle, it is cloudy with a sweet bready aroma and notes of banana and sherbet; it is spicy and tart with grainy sweetness – sounds like a fun night out.

Richard Emerson sampled several local ales overseas and on his return to New Zealand (in 1993) he was disillusioned with the standard of beer – obviously. Now his mission is to provide “a quantum leap in the flavour of our beers.” This noble aim is clearly appreciated as Emerson’s won the New Zealand Champion Brewery at the Brew NZ awards 2009.

Comments:
Better than the last one but not much
Horrible; a great failure of the home brewer
Fizzy taste, more body, easy to drink
More bitterer than the last one
The Ford Mondeo of beer
Much nicer than the last cloudy beer
Mateus rosé?
Purely for medicinal purposes only

Obviously our drinkers are not fans of this style of beer (with one noteable exception) as this beer received a not so grand total of 28 points and came 9th.

We did pause to admire the sunset - waxing more lyrical about it as the evening (and the alcohol) wore on.
 To be contined in next post...

International cricket

Last week I went to a One Day International cricket match between Australia and New Zealand. It was free to attend so I went along and sat in the sun and enjoyed myself watching the game and taking photos. It was very exciting and it all came down to the final ball where it proved that Australia had the mental strength to snatch victory from a game New Zealand had been sure to win.

There were only about twenty spectators at the ground. Why? Because it was women's cricket. Their loss; I had a great day, and here are some pictures to prove it. You can play along with your own version of 'spot the ball' if you like!