Convenience Foods

We are really lazy, aren’t we, us humans?

At the supermarket I noticed that the chopped variety of the tinned tomatoes was all sold out. (Supermarket shopping simultaneously thrills and stimulates me – can you tell?) Fair enough; they were on special, but so were the non-chopped ones and there were still heaps of those left.

Further investigation (gosh, I could work for Fairly Slow with in-depth research like that) proved the second cheapest option also had diced and whole, and once again the diced were sold out – people were clearly paying more for these than the cheapest chopped. Why? Is it so very hard to chop our own tomatoes?

Sure, it may take a fraction longer in the kitchen before tipping them into the pasta sauce, and perhaps time is money, but what is that really worth? A good twenty cents a can in this case it appears.

We buy all sorts of labour- and-boredom-saving groceries; pitted olives, grated cheese, tea and coffee with milk already added (because it’s such a hassle to get the milk out the fridge and add it ourselves), ready-diced pumpkin… actually, that’s quite a good one as peeling and chopping your own pumpkin is a real faff.

So where does it stop? And more importantly, where do we send our suggestions? Because I find peeling oranges really tedious. Invariably the juice squirts everywhere (in the eye or on the white blouse being its preferred landing places) and you get sticky fingers and the rind has to be disposed of somehow and you’re usually on the run or in a car, and they’re simply not as convenient as they might be.

And with all that extra time available, just think of the things we could do... maybe an extra sudoko or two.

My Newest Favourite Thing: FC Barcelona

Obviously I would rather it were Liverpool waving that trophy aloft, but as that was never going to happen this season, it couldn't happen to a better club than Barcelona FC.

Their play in winning the Champions League Final 3-1 was superlative. Mesmerising football and spectacular precision passing by the likes of Pedro, Villa, Iniesta and Xavi Hernandez made for sumptuous viewing. Mascherano was marshalled into mid field/ defence but most of the action was taking place in the attacking third.

En passant I must say that Wayne Rooney's goal came with an excellent finish, but Giggs was off-side when he received the ball that led to the pass that set up the goal that Wayne scored. 

Barcelona played like a team that knew each other's moves so well they could have executed those tricks blindfolded. It was magical, artistic, fantastic craftsmanship with no diving for penalties, rolling around on the floor, Hollywood tactics or scything tackles (from either side, to be fair).

And then there was Lionel Messi. There is very little that can be said about him that hasn't already been said. He is masterful and quite simply the best footballer on the planet. He and his fellow Catalan genii split the Manchester United midfield like Zorro's rapier through crumbly Lancashire. It was a joy to watch.

It's always fun to see Fergie and his show ponies annihilated, although to his credit he knew and respected it, saying afterwards, "They play the right way and they enjoy their football. They do mesmerise you with their passing and we never really did control Messi. In my time as manager, it's the best team I've faced."

The Weevil asked me what she should tell my nephew - 'Do we want Manchester United to win because they are English?' No. If it were any other English club (even The Arse), then yes, I would probably want them to succeed. But I already have to hear Red Shite fans bleat on about how they have now won more titles than Liverpool, they are the best team ever in England; at least we are still the best English team ever in Europe.