Count Down Quotes to 'The Hollow' 13

"Shan't get any more money, shall I, when I'm trained? Doesn't seem worth being trained then, does it?" - Doris

Stepping Up

A friend of mine told me she had started wearing a pedometer – you know; one of those things that count your steps. The recommended number of steps is 10,000 a day for adults (children need to do more) - that's just to maintain a healthy weight - you need to do more if you want to lose weight. Apparently most of us don’t do enough.

She said she was feeling pretty smug because she went for a half-hour run a day, but she has a sedentary job, answering phone calls, and was alarmed to find that although she considered herself to be reasonably fit, she wasn’t doing the required number of steps.

As a writer, I too have a sedentary job so I wondered how many steps I do a day. I have been wearing one of these devices for the past three months (apart from the odd occasion when I wear a dress – there is no way you can ‘discreetly’ clip it to your knickers) and I can scientifically tell you that my average daily step count is 10,251.

Yes, that’s not bad (and no, that's not me - sadly), but the thing is that I was training for a 10km in that time. I am now training for a triathlon series so some of the steps have been replaced by swims and bikes – these don’t count on the gadget.

I reckon I’m okay because I make myself walk into town every day (that’s 4,000 steps and approximately a kilometre each way). I get lonely working from home and have to see or speak to a real person at least once a day, so I post letters or buy bread or just have a coffee at the cafe, so that I can have human contact.

There is a lot of support for people to be active for at least half an hour a day, which is a good thing – but if you are walking as your activity, that’s about 4,000 steps. I’ve seen people drive to the gym rather than walk, do a work-out on some machines, and then drive back to their office and sit at their computer. It’s not enough.

Adverts trumpet the benefit of various contraptions that look like instruments of torture and fold conveniently under the bed. Apparently they work all your core muscle groups in three minutes. That’s nowhere near enough steps.

Of course, people with active jobs in service and trades will do plenty of paces. I've seen stats that show how many kilometres people run in football matches (Stevie G does about 10km).

Some canny children in surveys tie them to their pets' collars - I bet some of those dogs do heaps!

But so many of us work from home or from offices on computers and only get up to make a cup of tea or go to the toilet. Retail assistants spend a lot of time on their feet, but it’s standing still. Bank clerks, receptionists, and teachers are going nowhere – literally if not metaphorically.

I’m not suggesting that everyone run a marathon, but it is quite frightening to think how many more steps most of us need to do.

Training Session

We had training at work and it made me think of those awful 80s style training sessions where the facilitors meant well but you came out having learned nothing but lost the will to live. You know the ones I mean. It inspired this:

Training Session

Post-it notes and play-doh
Play dumb but have fun
No question is a dumb question
And there is a parking lot for thoughts that rock your boat.
Write your thoughts on the tree of objectives and expectations
Growing from the trunk of ground rules on a
Flip chart with smelly pens in a variety of fruit flavours.

Check out the emergency exits and toilets

Introduce your partner to the group in three words

Shouting above the air-con that freezes the room.

Understand who you are and what you want

With name badges and thumbs up

Allow the feelings to come into the room and the work will happen.

Bless this meeting; bless this group; bless this crap.

Gather round the brightly coloured laminated arrows:

Visuals 'to make you think'.

Call for volunteers to press blu-tac to cork boards

Split into groups for animated discussions.

Go to the activity tables where you will find
Glu-sticks and craft scissors; pipe cleaners and stress balls

Be creative with kindergarten exercises!

Polysterene cups full of seeds and scroggin.
Think of surveys done about urine traces collected from nuts
And there's no milk for the tea or coffee granules.

Stimulate yourself with brain teasers - but look up the answers

Play with the plastic hammers and rattles

And when you hear the squeaky rubber chicken,

Report back with your findings and help yourself to a prize.

Surround yourself with inspirational quotes on fluoro A4 paper

Like a cheap bargain basement market store.

'We're not here to persuade or influence; we're here to facilitate the process.

I see the role as being a conduit rather than a preacher

Or a teacher.

Let's just recap and review what we've done.

We've looked at insights and blindspots.

We've been on a collective journey towards improved understanding

Kua puta ai te mārama

Thank you for participating in our puzzle.

You've worked hard today; give yourselves a round of applause

Go well; kia kaha

Finish with a quote and a feedback form.

What did you like most about today?

The End