Friday Five: Books Read in July

1. Redback by Howard Jacobson (Black Swan) - I struggled with The Finkler Question, so thought it was worth giving Howard Jacobson another go; he is well-known for being funny and writing award-winning fiction. I suspect, however, his may be a style of humour (self-indulgent, middle-class, academic white man) that has passed me by. Think Tom Sharpe and Kingsley Amis, but more Jewish. Dense paragraphs, picaresque style, random characters, anxious first-person narrator, excessive hyperbole, roughly linear narrative peppered with tangents, flashbacks and digressions, and a barely-there storyline all appear to be hallmarks of the author's practice. The plot, such as it is, is that Karl Leon Forelock receives a double-first in Moral Decenies from Cambridge, is recruited by the CIA, and heads to Australia as a spy where he attends a lot of parties and makes sweeping generalistions about the country and women, whom he clearly doesn't understand. While he claims to have resolutely, "kept my nose out of politics", he feels entitled to comment on such matters, occasionally with amusing results. “Liberal in Australia, incidentally, means Conservative (unlike in England where it means nothing very much in particular), and is not to be confused with Labour. Which also means Conservative only not to quite the same degree.” Written in the 1980s, and set in the 1960s, the tone of this novel is very much last century.
2. An American Marriage by Tayari Jones - The winner of the 2019 Women's Prize for Fiction is an extremely engaging and accessible novel, narrated by the main three protagonists. Celestial and Roy are happily and newly married when he is arrested and sentenced to twelve years in prison in Louisiana for a crime Celestial knows he didn’t commit. She finds comfort in her childhood friend, Andre, Roy’s best man at their wedding. As their feelings develop, Roy’s conviction is overturned and Celestial has big decisions to make. Celestial is an artist; Roy is a business executive – they are not the blue-collar stereotypes of the American South, but because they are African-American, their lives are destroyed by a system which is prejudiced against them. On the evening of the alleged crime (a woman was raped and claims Roy was the perpetrator and, as a black man in the wrong place at the wrong time, he is almost automatically convicted) Roy and Celestial had had a big fight. This is their last interaction before he is hauled away by the police, and the situation throws their 'perfect' marriage into question. Jones has expressed that her novel is a version of The Odyssey, with Celestial playing the role of the waiting wife, unsure how to handle the return of her man. The men are infuriating as they fight over Celestial - "You don’t have to pee on her like a dog marking your territory. Have some manners.” They may well have suffered hardship and institutionalised racism, but that does not excuse their machismo and their sexism. This was a favourite of Oprah, Obama, and books clubs all across America.
3. The Windsor Knot by S.J. Bennett - This is the first in what has become a series of cosy crime novels, described as ‘Miss Marple meets The Crown’ in which the Queen solves mysteries. It was written in 2020, when the author went on a writer’s retreat during the pandemic to write something else entirely and came up with this instead. It’s highly implausible but thoroughly entertaining, as we are told, “The Queen solves mysteries. She solved the first one when she was twelve or thirteen, so the story goes. On her own. She sees things other people don’t see – often because they’re all looking at her. She knows so much about so many things. She’s got an eagle eye, a nose for bullshit and a fabulous memory. Her staff should trust her more.” At the behest of Prince Charles, the Queen hosts a ‘dine and sleep’ for Russian dancers, composers, and selected glitterati. When a pianist is found strangled the next day, hanged by the cord of his dressing gown in a wardrobe at Windsor Castle, the optics aren’t good. Initially it appears that it may have been a case of autoeroticism gone wrong, although the aides are hesitant to alert the Queen to this fact. She, meanwhile, tells Prince Philip that she is unshockable because “I’ve lived through a world war, that Ferguson girl and you in the Navy.” The MI5 suspect political involvement, but the Queen disagrees and sets out to solve the crime herself. Which, of course, she does.
4. Murder in Paradise by Ann Cleeves - Set on Kinness, an island off the coast of Scotland (bleak and misty with 'traditional values' and sheep), this is billed as a George and Molly Palmer-Jones mystery, but George is on his own, and Molly is back at home. George works with Sarah instead, a new bride who has just got married to Jim and returned to the island (where he grew up) for celebrations. It is difficult for her to adjust as everyone has secret alliances and their own ways of being. There is very little bird-watching (they ring some swans and shoot some geese) and George is cross and irritable with everyone and everything including himself and his feelings about retirement. “How pagan they are still, he thought… They pretend to be Christian, but when they’ve had a few drinks, they still behave like loutish Norsemen.” George is determined to solve the crime – the death of a girl who is believed to have fallen to her death – and even this annoys him. “He felt the weight of responsibility. It was as if the police had given up, and had handed over the task of finding the murderer to him.” The murder seems incidental to the narrative, which is more about adaptability. There is an entire red herring thread about child abuse, but mostly the islanders are afraid of change and the pervasive question is whether they can preserve the island as it is, or does that make it a museum?
5. Cassandra Speaks: When Women Are the Storytellers, the Human Story Changes by Deborah Lesser - Inspired by a woman at a conference who was exploring 'the power of myth in modern culture' (basically, my university dissertation), the author decides to look at how female stories are interpreted, such as those of Eve, Pandora, Athena. It has a very Western focus.  Her tone is irritating - telling people what to do and treating the audience as if they haven’t considered this before she brought it to our attention. I am not surprised to learn she delivers TED talks; her approach is didactic, individual, and lecturing. She comments,“Everything I knew about European history had to do with wars and kings, trade routes and power plays between religions, royalty and tyrants. Why did we only know and care about those aspects of being human?” Speak for yourself! Maybe stop blaming education from fifty years ago and look into things yourself, like those of us who are interested already have. It may appeal to young people (as the alarming pink jacket suggests) as their first foray into this sphere, but there is nothing in here that I haven't read (in better formats) before.

Century Cockatoo

Fred is 100!

Fred, the sulphur-crested cockatoo turned one hundred years old this week, which was cause for celebration at the Bonorong Wildlife Sanctuary just outside Hobart in Tasmania. In the wild these cockatoos live to about forty, while in captivity their life expectancy doubles. The old bird received a letter of congratulations from the Queen, and the wildlife sanctuary threw him a party attended by children (and adults) in costume. 

I had no idea they could live that long, and I'm sure the diet of plums, apples, pine cones and peaches from the trees in our back garden is good for them. Many happy returns, Fred!

Some Corner of a Foreign Field... That is Forever England

I don't know who was more thrilled by the prospect of some of the England rugby team visiting the Arrowtown Primary School - the adults or the kids. The children were arranged in rows wearing their red and white to meet and greet the players. The word went round, 'Johnny's not coming' but that didn't seem to dampen anyone's spirits and there was still much excitement as we waited for them to arrive.

And they came from out of the sky...

They were welcomed with a haka, which seemed to bemuse them slightly. Later Mark Cueto said they had received many welcomes and many hakas, but he could 'speak for the lads' in saying that this was probably the best they had heard. Whether this is true or not, it certainly endeared him and his team-mates to his audience. He then paid tribute to the Arrowtown team who reached the Rippa Rugby 'World Cup' Final, and in doing so achieved instant hero status.

 

Moving inside to assembly, the children sang another welcome and had all learned the words impressively. Many were face-painted with the flag of St George which may seem a little odd on the other side of the world, but when head-master, Robin Harris, asked the children to put their hands up if they had English ancestry, at least half of them did so.



Mark Cueto: my new favourite English rugby player



James Haskell hongis the leader of the haka



As the guys listened to the speech by the headmaster, they looked a little like naughty schoolboys, but eventually they began to relax during the informal Q & A session.

James Haskell ponders his royal appointments

One of the children asked if they get to "hang out with the Queen"? James Haskell replied that although they were all invited to the royal wedding and have been honoured to meet The Queen, you generally need an official invitation, and so they don't get to "hang out at the palace much" - he added that "Mike [Tindall] does, but he tends to go on his own."

The Wee Red Hen leads the school in the New Zealand national anthem

When asked why they played rugby rather than other sports, a couple of kids in the audience shouted out, "Yeah!" - they had chosen Liverpool and Man Utd shirts for their emblematic red and white outfits, so it was clear where their loyalties (or those of their parents, anyway) lay.

James Haskell, probably somewhat disingenuously said it was because he was rubbish at all other sports, as anyone who had see him try and play football could confirm. He admitted to being a noisy child who was always getting into trouble and his mother lied about his age so she could get him not the Rugby Under 7s when he was five. When his Dad found out you could have a beer down at the rugby club on a Sunday he went along too giving Mummy Haskell the added advantage of getting them both out of the house at the same time.

Alex Corbisiero looking pensive

Dylan Hartley (right) is keen to relate someone else's embarrassing moment

In answer to the question, "What's been your most embarrassing moment on the rugby pitch?", Dylan Hartley was keen to pipe up, "because it's not about me". He related the incident of the fox on the pitch at Twickenham when England played Scotland in the Six Nations earlier this year. Apparently when he went in for the scrum he smelt something vile and realised Alex Corbisiero had 'rolled in fox poo'. Adults talking about animal poo - the kids absolutely loved it!

The All Blacks are the biggest rivals according to Mark Cueto. He's played them several times as an England and British Lions player and not been on a winning side yet. Here's hoping...

Alex Corbisiero answered that what he most liked about Queenstown and the surrounding region was the spectacular scenery - he says he lives in London so helicopter rides over mountains are not the norm for him. He also claimed that some of the team had discovered Fergburger at which the rest of the team burst into laughter and all pointed him out as the burger munching menace.

Who ate all the pies? Alex Corbisiero, apparetly

And then they were challenged to a dry weetbix-eating competition by this lad in a white wig and England flag/cape. And they all accepted the challenge and ate the thing without water ('I'll bet you gave the All Blacks water!' they said). Don't tell me they haven't done this before - it's fairly standard at sports clubs everywhere, usually followed by downing a pint, but they still giggled their way through the process and looked nothing like serious elite athletes - bless them. It took them 48 seconds - apparently the All Blacks can do it in 14. "If that was Richie McCaw, he was probably cheating" - James Haskell

And then the Wee Red Hen led a rousing rendition of Swing Low, Sweet Chariot, which the kids sang beautifully and the England players tried to sing, although they didn't know that it had verses as well as a chorus. James Haskel filmed the whole thing on his camera so he'll probably be able to watch it later and learn the words. Or perhaps not.

"Psst - does anyone know the words?"

Lots of signing stuff outdoors. I was too embarrassed to queue up will all the kids, so I gratefully accepted the Wee Red Hen's offer to get my scarf signed.

Extreme concentration from Chris Ashton

One very happy fan

That's my England scarf! Make that two very happy fans!

When English sports teams go away there's always a lot of negative media surrounding their tour. The latest trash talk is trying to pin a scandal on Mike Tindal. Despite the fact that the team's judgement should be questioned for visiting possibly the skankiest pit in Queenstown, the rest of the press should be entirely positive. 

The kids (and their parents and various hangers on) who witnessed the PR session at Arrowtown were all thoroughly charmed by the boys from Blighty. Sample comment heard from a teacher - "That went better than I was expecting. They were a lot friendlier and more personable than I was expecting. And much better loking too." You know it. C'mon England!