Friday Five: Vegetables

This week, the Quick Quintet is back by popular demand (well, a couple of people asked why I'd stopped). Posting every day proved to be quite exhausting so I cheated a little here and there. I have decided to make the Quick Quintet a once-a-week thing: hence, the Friday Five - catchy, huh?

A while ago some friends and I had a heated debate over what was the Devil's vegetable - we ended up sort of roughly divided between turnips and beetroot. I didn't realise root vegetables could be so emotive.

 For the purposes of this post, we are avoiding salad vegetables (the tomato: fruit or vegetable argument can thus be neatly sidestepped) and although avocados are lush, they are equally excluded. In a singular high-handed fashion I have also decided to remove fungi from consideration, although fresh field mushrooms sauteed in butter and served on sour dough bread with a sprinkling of tarragon and chives is one of the delights of breakfast.

5 Favourite Vegetables

1. Potatoes - is any vegetable as versatile as the humble spud? No, is the answer to that, and I should know: I lived off them for six months as a student when my grant ran out
2. Asparagus - for the two weeks in season you can get them, they are almost all I live on - and I don't care if they turn my wee green
3. Courgettes - I like them crunchy (they make great crudites as well) and they are fabulous creamed in soups, in quiches, salads, ratatoille or simply as side with crushed almonds to accompany a nice piece of steak, or perhaps trout
4. Aubergines - love the colour; love the texture; love the taste. Some people have claimed to found religious iconography inside; they are probably bonkers. Incidentally, we went to Amisfield for dinner one evening, and the lovely waiter was thrilled that we were English so that he could offer us courgettes and aubergines rather than zucchini and eggplant
5. Onions - they are the base of almost any sauce - pasta; curry; soups; stew; tagine; etc. And spring onions are great in salads, and you don't even have to be Welsh to like leeks

Quick Dectet: Last Lines

Because it is the last day of October and hence the last of my quick quintets, I thought I would choose closing lines from novels for my subject. Opening lines get all the credit, when the credit should really come at the finish. Some of my favourite books don't have great last lines (and the last line of Jane Eyre is not 'And reader, I married him' - that's the first line of the last chapter for all you pedants out there - you know who you are!)

And because there are quite a few to choose from, and it is my blog and I can do whatever I want, I have decided to go for ten things rather than five (in chronolgical order):

Top Ten Last Lines in Literature: 

1. 'Come, children, let us shut up the box and the puppets, for our play is played out.' – William Makepeace Thackeray, Vanity Fair (1847–48)
2. ‘It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.’ – Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities (1859)
3. 'So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.' – F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby (1925)
4. 'But wherever they go, and whatever happens to them on the way, in that enchanted place on the top of the Forest, a little boy and his Bear will always be playing.' – A. A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner (1928)
5. 'The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which. – George Orwell, Animal Farm (1945)
6. 'He loved Big Brother' – George Orwell, 1984 (1948)
7. 'Oh God. You’ve done enough. You’ve robbed me of enough. I’m too tired and old to learn to love, leave me alone for ever.' – Graham Greene, The End of the the Affair  (1951)
8. 'Are there any questions?' – Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale (1986)
9. 'I thought they were supposed to be dead, but in real life they’re just going to go on singing.' – Salman Rushdie, The Ground Beneath Her Feet (1999)
10. 'Very few castaways can claim to have survived so long at sea as Mr. Patel, and none in the company of an adult Bengal tiger.' – Yann Martel, Life of Pi (2002)

Quick Quintet: Cartoon Characters

And today's quick quintet is a request from Bad Fairy who suggested cartoon characters. This set off a huge train of thought - do cartoons include children's TV like Captain Pugwash, Camberwick Green, The Clangers, Roobarb and Custard, Henry's Cat and the sublimely ridiculous Ludwig? For the purposes of this post, I have decided that they don't.





I've never really liked the saccharine Disney characters - Mickey Mouse has a very annoying voice; Minnie is pathetic; Pluto is yellow (!), Donald Duck and his nephews spray spittle everywhere; and Goofy gives me the creeps. Although I like the Disney treatment of The Jungle Book, The Sword in the Stone, and Robin Hood, I can never forgive them for what they did to Winnie the Pooh.

Apparently the most popular and enduring cartoon character is Bugs Bunny, and I do like his calm self-assurance and carrot-chewing capers, but he's not my favourite. Similarly I like other Hanna-Barbera productions such as Yogi Bear and Scooby Doo (the originals - I can't stand the spin-offs with Scooby-Dum and Scrappy-Doo) but they're not my favourites either.

For some reason I have a soft spot for Mr Magoo - I think because he was so inept we reckoned his wife must have helped him through life by finding everything for him so if anyone asks an impossible question in our family (such as 'Where are my car keys?') the answer is invariably, 'How should I know? I'm not Mrs Magoo'. Yes, we're a slightly odd family.

And then there are the 'adult' cartoon with characters such as Stan, Kyle, Eric and Kenny from South Park, or Homer, Marge, Bart and Lisa from The Simpsons, plus all their associates - I went through a spell of loving their dysfunctional adventures. But, once again, my favourites have to be for reasons of nostalgia.

5 Favourite Cartoon Characters:

1. Tom - not Jerry. I hated Jerry and always wanted Tom to smash him with the mallet
2. Wile E. Coyote - Similarly I wanted him to catch that beeping annoying Road Runner
3. Top Cat - the coolest cat in town
4. Hong Kong Phooey - the mild mannered police station janitor? Could be!
5. Dangermouse - he's the greatest, he's fantastic, wherever there is danger he'll be there...

Quick Quintet: Sweet Treats

This is a special request by the Fudge Princess (funny that!). I'm sticking specifically to sweets here, rather than chocolate or biscuits.

Most of the sweets that I like are memories of childhood, when we used to go to the local sweet shop and buy quarters of confectionery that were weighed out on scoop scales and poured into paper bags. My sister used to send me to buy her Kola cubes and I was allowed a couple as commission. Happy Days!

5 Top Sweets:

1. Rhubarb and custards - the originals, I'm saying nothing about the ones you used to get at raves in the 90s
2. Sherbet lemons - suck them till  you get ulcers on your tongue
3. Maynards wine gums (has to be Maynards) - hoots mon, there's juice loose aboot this hoose!
4. Bassett's Jelly Babies (ditto Bassetts) - they're in a wibbly wobbly world of their own - apparently they were launched in Sheffield in 1918 to mark the end of WWI and were originally called Peace Babies
5. Trebor Softmints - loved this ad (especially the cat). How did we ever think that the smell of mint would fool our parents that we hadn't been drinking/smoking - it was just such a dead giveaway!

Quick Quintet: Dream Destinations

On the subject of dreams (which we were) and holidays (which we have been), here are some of my dream destinations. They're all places I'd really like to go on holiday but cost a fair bit; maybe if I won a medium-sized lottery I'd blow the cash on one of these. Mind you, I suppose I would have to start buying the tickets first.

5 Dream Destinations:

1. Safari in Africa: It's all about the wildlife - lions; leopards; cheetahs; zebras; elephants; antelope; wildebeest and giraffes (crouching or otherwise). Whether in Botswana, Kenya, Zambia, or any other realtively stable African country, I would love to experience the stunning scenery and the play of light and colour. Those lodges look like my idea of heaven, and are way out of my price range.
2. Antarctica: The same but different, i.e. It's all about the wildlife, scenery and light and colour. And it would have to be seen from a (warm) cruise ship, which is way beyond my budget. My camera would get such a hammering!
3. South America: yup, the entire continent. I mean, it's got everything: ancient history (Incas and Machu Pichu), colonial cities, vibrant modern cities, deserts, mountains, glaciers, beaches, rainforests, waterfalls, wildlife (imagine visiting the Galapagos Islands!) and wine - and my life will not be complete until I have learned to tango in Buenos Aires. I know, it will take at least a year (and that's just learning to dance...)
4. Vienna: Speaking of dancing, I would love to sweep down a staircase in Vienna and glide across the ballroom in a fabulous dress dancing a waltz. The opera; the music; the architecture; the palaces; the Lippizan stallions; the cake... And I would probably take a side-trip to Budapest to see my bridge (the same design as the one in Marlow)
5. Uluru: specifically as a highlight of a trip on the Ghan, the train that travels from Adelaide through Alice Springs to Darwin. And I don't care how naff it is; I want to dine by candle and starlight at those tables with white linen tablecloths and know I don't have to do the washing up or the laundry!

Quick Quintet:Possible Dreams

When I was a child and I couldn't sleep, I tried to think of my favourite dream and wish myself into it. I think they used to feature fluffy kittens and the like. My neice once came downstairs in tears after bedtime because "I can't find a dream with me in it", so I am not alone.

I still do a similar sort of thing - not always when I am trying to sleep; some of them are just my favourite daydreams. Of course there are things we all want (well, maybe not all, but they're pretty common): a cure for cancer, and an end to global poverty being pretty high on the wish list.

But no matter what John Lennon may have you believe, world peace is simply too hard to imagine. I have to be able to visualise these things in my head to make them valid fantasies. And I'm not talking bedroom stuff here - these are all pretty clean.

5 Favourite Daydreams:

1. Crossing the ball for the winning Liverpool goal in the Champions League final. I never score the goal, but I always set it up with a sublime cross that Stevie G blasts into the back of the net. I often re-enact this cross in my sleep - Him Outdoors has the bruises to prove it. The crowd goes wild and I celebrate by leaping up and down inanely with all my teammates (who include Robbie Fowler, Steve McManaman, Kevin Keegan, Alan Hansen, Jason McAteer, John Barnes, Bruce Grobbelar, Michael Owen and Ian Rush)
2. Winning an Oscar - although it is for a stage performance, the setting is all Oscar. My speech is perfect - not too short; not too long; remarkably gracious and un-tongue-tied
3. Driving with Him Outdoors through Cotswold lanes in an E-type Jag convertible. It is British racing green with the luggage strapped to the back. I am looking effortlessly chic in a chiffon scarf and stylish sunglasses and somehow I know we are going to one of those boutique hotels in the country where we will drink gin and tonic on the verandah before sitting down to dinner
4. Some race or other: I'm running really fast down the finishing chute and everyone is cheering and waving flags. I actually imagine this often when I am out on a training run
5. Seeing my book on the shelves of a bookshop. I know what the cover will look like

Quick Quintet: Taking it for Granted

Holidays are great; coming home can often be a bit depressing. We have just returned from the most amazing time in Borneo visiting family and exploring. Life back at work is a bit of an anti-climax (although it is always a pleasure to see our gorgeous cat again) so I played at Pollyanna to cheer myself up.

5 Good Things about Being back in New Zealand:

1. Flushing toilets
2. Clean drinking water from the tap
3. Sleeping without mosquito nets
4. Walking without having to check for snakes
5. Being able to go into buildings without air-conditioning

Quick Quintet: Past Pictures

This list will be slightly skewed, because I have been on a couple of long-haul flights recently and watched in-flight 'entertainment'.

5 Most Recent Films Seen:

1. Bitter/Sweet - terrible American romantic 'comedy' in which an American businessman is sent to Thailand to purchase coffee beans and ends up falling in love with a local girl, despite his far more attractive - in every way - fiancée back home. If there is a happy ending, it is that she has a lucky escape.
2. Too Big to Fail - very well-acted and well-written drama (and it really is dramatic) about the fall of the Lehman brothers and the subsequent financial metdown of 2008. If it has a failing, it is that the 'spell-it-out-really-simply-for-the-stupid-people' scenes are delivered to the only two women in the film. Clearly it takes a man to make a really big financial cock-up. 
3. Cewek Gokil - bad Indonesian film about a girl who wants a car so she can help her mother's business, gain some independence, and get the guy. 
4. Sanctum - cave-diving goes wrong, with a father-son dysfunctional relationship tacked on for added intrigue. It might be better in 3D - we watched it in 2D and the characters barely even make it to one.
5. Midnight in Paris - Charming Woody Allen directed fantasy rom-com with resplendent Parisian backdrops, fine actors and a delightful story-line suggesting you should be happy with the era in which you live, rather than striving for the impossible; a sentimental journey away from nostalgia. Nice.

Quick Qintet: Dad's advice

In the interests of equality:

5 Things My Dad Taught Me:

1. It's never 'just a game' - play nicely, but play to win
2. The person who doesn't pour the wine gets to choose the glass
3. Never drive drunk, or let anyone else do it - if you really can't stop them; don't get in the car
4. Listen; you might learn something
5. Don't mock what you don't understand

Quick Quintet: Mother's Commandments

Every now and then the topic of mentors and role models is raised, particularly around sporting events. There has just been a rather large one here in New Zealand and with on-and-off-field antics, people are once again questioning whether children should look up to sporting heroes for behavioural models.

I think not. I believe that's what parents are for (or else, what the hell are they actually doing?). No matter what they tell you, mothers do not always know best, but they can give you some pretty good pointers. You learn which to follow and which to ignore, but there are some things my mother taught me I will always value.

5 Pieces of Maternal Advice:

1. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all
2. Never say behind someone's back something you wouldn't say to their face
3. To a couple of people you may be extremely important - no one else cares: don't show off
4. Don't expose your kidneys; you'll catch your death
5. Never display your underwear in public; male or female - it's skanky. (I think mother actually used the word 'common', but that's what she meant)

Quick Quintet: Slow-guns

Following on from yesterday's post I've been thinking about catchy advertising slogans. They may not necessarily be for the best product (in fact, usually aren't), but they are irritatingly familiar, or in some cases simply perfect.

Hundreds came to mind actually, which probably shows I take more notice of advertising than I like to admit. Several of them are local - Boddingtons: 'If you don't get Boddies; you'll just get bitter' or Speights: 'Pride of the South', but I'll stick with some that are more universal:

5 Top Marketing Slogans:

1. Carlsberg, probably the best lager in the world
2. Esso: Put a tiger in your tank
3. Ronseal: It does exactly what it says on the tin
4. McDonalds: I'm loving it
5. Nike: Just do it

Quick Quintet: Brand Power

I don't remember exactly when it was that everyone became obsessed with labels - sometime in the 80s I think, when it was all Lacoste this and Adidas that. I do remember if you didn't have the right trainers or sports bag, you were ridiculed at school.

Him Outdoors had a non-authentic action man when he was a kid. Apparently he had a squishy head and his hands fell off (the non-action man that is, not Him Outdoors). No one would let him play, somewhat unsurprisingly.

Now, I'm not what anyone would call a slave to fashion, but there are certain things that just have to be right; when imitations simply won't suffice.

5 Non-Negotiable Brands:

1. Persil automatic - possibly mum's fault; I like the familiar smell, and I seem to get a rash from just about anything else
2. McVities - no one else's digestives will do. And don't even get me started on Hobnobs...
3. Jaguar - E-type in particular: if it's not a Jaguar; it's just a car
4. Bombay Sapphire gin and Schwepps tonic - it's the perfect combination
5. Waterstones/ Unity Books - I will travel miles for knowledgable service

Quick Quintet: Actual Conversations

There used to be a time when you could have endless pointless debates in the pub about anything at all - when did Ziggy Stardust take his final bow; who scored the winning goal in the FA Cup Final of 1957; in how many films did Doris Day star with Rock Hudson; you know the sort of thing.

Now, if you ruminate on any sort of question of this nature, someone will irritatingly whip out their smart phone and tell you the answer. Okay, so it may be smart, (or smug) but it ruins all the fun - at least you should waste a good half hour discussing it first. 

This is why they may be good for virtually anything, but smart phones are the death of (pub) conversation. In the last week or so, I have whiled away many pleasant minutes (if not hours) with the family deliberating such pressing issues as:

5 Recent Conversations which didn't involve a Smart Phone:

1. Does what goes up always have to come down?
2. If fish spoke English, which species would have what accent?
3. Why is some 80s music shockingly bad when some is excellent, and why do Americans and Kiwis generally prefer the former?
4. When does attractive confidence become ugly arrogance?
5. If you could live in any era in history, when would it be?

Quick Quintet: Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick

Today is my birthday - yes, I know, Happy Birthday to me. While I have nothing against the song Happy Birthday, I wish there were more songs that people could sing to expreess their many happy returns: Stevie Wonders' Happy Birthday is specifically about Martin Luther King; no one knows the lyrics to Altered Images' merry ditty; and the Sugarcubes' Birthday is just plain bonkers.



So invariably it will be the predictable tune. When Thermal Girl and I were in recorder club at the infants' school, we were tasked with performing Happy Birthday on our squeaky tubes for one of the younger members of the school. Unfortunately we hadn't learned that tune, but we did know London's Burning so we spontaneously burst into that instead... as the confused birthday girl simultaneously burst into tears and poured on her own water.

Which led me to think about the most predictable songs ever - you know; when you're at a particular event and you know for certain that a certain song will be played.

5 Predictable Tunes:

1. We Are the Champions / Simply the Best - played at the final of any sporting event
2. Slice of Heaven / Why Does Love Do This to Me? / Bliss - godawful lyrically-challenged Kiwi pop songs played at every New Zealand sporting event ever - it's enough to put you off going
3. Dancing Queen - there's not a hen night in the land where this isn't played
4. From This Moment - the most manipulatively mercenary wedding song ever written
5. I Don't Know How to Love Him - at any musical theatre audition. I recently read this in Painting Ruby Tuesday by Jane Yardley: The first morning we heard the same song from Jesus Christ Superstar so many times that when we broke for lunch the casting director shouted, ‘If anyone in this room does know how to love him, for Chrissake get out there and tell ’em before I top myself!’

Quick Quintet: Aunty Katy

I have been visitng my brother and sister-in-law and niece and nephew in Miri. We have had a great time experiencing their ex-pat lifestyle and some Miri hotspots (at 40 degrees and 98% humidity, it's actually all pretty hot) and, although excited about the prospect of seeing monkeys in the rainforest, were a little sad to leave them behind and move on to the next stage of the trip.

5 Great Things about Being an Aunt:

1. Fierce unconditional hugs
2. Information sharing and seeing things from a fresh perspective (snakes can be very pretty, apparently)
3. Surreal artwork
4. Story-time
5. Giving them back

Quick Quintet: Lazy Sunday

5 Things I Like to do on a Sunday Morning:

1. Sleep in/ cuddle
2. Read the Sunday newspapers
3. Go for a walk
4. Go out for coffee/ brunch
5. Speak to family members on the phone

Saddly, this isn't me, but you get the picture, as it were

Quick Quintet: After the Rain

5 Things I Like About the Rain:

1. The sound it makes as it drums on the roof - as long as I am warm and dry inside
2. The fact that it gives you an excuse not to do a fat lot
3. The smell of the wet earth after the rain has stopped
4. The way it helps plants and flowers to grow
5. The wildlife that comes out to play in the puddles

Quick Quintet: We Go Together...

5 Top Colour Combinations:

1. Red and white - it works for Liverpool FC, England, Father Christmas and me!
2. Purple and green - designer types may call them aubergine and avocado, but whatever it's called, they just look good together
3. Blue and yellow - sun, sky, sand, sea - it's a winning holiday combination
4. Orange and yellow - spices in the bazaar; tantalising
5. Black and gold - Greek vases and boxes of chocolates

Quick Quintet: Tastes Like Chicken

Whenever people eat something a bit different - frogs' legs; snake; crocodile; squirrel - they invariably say, 'it tastes a bit like chicken'. This is probably because chicken is such a versatile meat that it can actually taste like almost anything itself, even squirrel. I like chicken - yes, free range organic and all that, and it goes very well in a variety of dishes.

5 Great Chicken Dishes:

1. Roast chicken - with roast potatoes and fresh green vegetables, or in fresh white bread sandwiches with lashings of mayonnaise
2. Lemon chicken - the Chinese restaurant in Marlow High Street was my introduction to this particular favourite
3. Kadai chicken - a perennial winner at Indian restaurants worldwide
4. Chicken Pad Thai - the benchmark of a good Thai restaurant, and usually a perfect serving size to leave you replete but not stuffed
5. Chicken Mee Goreng - one of the best hangover cures ever

Quick Quintet: Female monikers

A friend of mine has just had a baby (as yet un-named) girl - I offer my congratulations. Obviously the health of mother and baby is of paramount importance (they are both fine by the way, except the poor baby may be suffering from excessive cuddling - if there can be such a thing) but the naming will be a serious matter.

According to a recent survey the most popular girl's name in New Zealand is Olivia. The fact that the most popular male name is Oliver reveals either a lack of originality or a determination to call your child Oli; I'm not sure which.

I have a double confession - I haven't got a middle name (a fact which has always miffed me somewhat), and I used to dislike the name I have. Now, I really appreciate it - Katherine has a regal dignity to it; Kate is pure and elegant; Kitty is a Celtic twist; and Katy is an adorable way for my family and certain friends to show affection. Some call me Katie Pie, which I like because Kei Te Pai (pronounced the same way) means 'good' in Maori.

Now, I'm not for one moment suggesting that I have any influence at all on what moniker my friend may bestow on her baby (I don't like the name Monica, by the way - even before the Lewinsky/Friends associations), but I do have certain girls' names that I prefer to others.

5 Girls' Names I Like:

1. Rachael/ Rebecca - I've never met one I didn't like
2. Juanita - I read a book when I was a child where the heroine had this name - it might have been something by Rumer Godden - I forget the novel but I remember the name
3. Sophie - although it does sound best with a Northern English accent
4. Emma - even Jane Austen's self-obssessed heroine can't ruin this name for me
5. Zoë - I have no idea why